Damien Tries His Mail-Order Bride Again. Will it Work?

From: “Damien U. Hurlbutt” [ConnivingPimp@hautemail.con]

To: ha@fedora-neckbeard-arrangements.cons

CC: “Robbie R. G. Hurlbutt” [Hoopstar@yoohoo.calm]

BCC: “Mom” [PJHurlbutt@fmail.kon]

Subject: Ohhh Yeah!

Check out this new thing I discovered in my new Blunter Image catalog, Jock Straps for Women! I may never wear them, but I gotta buy ‘em! Whaddaya think, babe? I mailed in my $50 check, since Fedora-Neckbeard M’ladies By Mail rejected my movie passes as payment.

As the last of my species, I hope you write me swiftly. In a couple of months, I plan on giving up on love and locking away my heart for eternity.

Your one-and-only GoldenToad,


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