“This is like something straight outta Hell!” Scientists react to a computer simulation animating captured neckbeard narcadoodle Damien Hurlbutt’s farts lit afire, targeting and destroying enemy aircraft like never seen before, in one of the USA’s many unnecessary wars.
“Damien, we just might finally get you out outta here!”
“Whohohumhuhwhatwhat?”
“This new technology will save American taxpayers a lot of money! We’ll just put Damien on every destroyer…”
“Uh-I can only be in one place at a time.”
“One destroyer at a time, then ready, aim, fartfire! Master-blast all our foes with your nasty fire-farts lit ablaze, from the world’s largest source of natural gas! We’ll destroy every single one of the enemy craft, even those darned UAPs we couldn’t even hit before! Butt, first, you need to wear one of these before we can begin to put your gas-blasts into production:
“Try and exceed 200 stinkers daily! Now back to your cell, Hurlbutt!”
MoronicArts 