We here at the Moroniverse don’t know how this happened, however we wish we did so we could recreate it.
Was it the OnlySpiders video published that day? Maybe the webcrawlers liked Wally Green’s new dating service for arachnids better than we humans. We won’t judge.
Thank you, and Happy Halloween!
We look forward to seeing little red baby spiders everywhere. Well…bog witch Bernadette does, that is…
Some people reading this silly story blog in their washroom might be wondering why these fictional fools live in Kankakee County. Maybe you are one of them. Who knows, maybe you’re reading this very story while pinching a loaf in Manteno.
Back in ancient history, I had lived in Illinois, before moving back home to Oneida County in Upstate New York. No, not the big city with the subways and the Muppets who live at 123 Sesame Street. See, I live in Utica, we never use the phrase “Steamed Hams.”
Living in a literal meme reminds me a lot of spending time in Kankakee County, but our town names back home are not nearly as cool. These fake stories about pretend morons are inspired by a lot of people from the Utica area, plus some living in the middle of a cornfield.
I like Kankakee County. I like Oneida County. Finding the elephant taking a dump in the room and then laughing while it eats its own dung is how I roll.
The main inspiration behind fictional character Damien Hurlbutt has is so self-centered, he thinks this blog is all about him.
Seriously. I hope over time more people learn about communal narcissists and how they insidiously abuse people. Overts and covert narc-a-doodles are bad enough; communals are even sneakier. I would not wish narcissistic abuse on my worst enemy and wish no ill will. I just wish they would all form their own narc colony on a deserted island and leave the rest of us alone.
Or better yet, drop them from planes into an erupting volcano, and vaporize them so they cannot make more narcissists (OK not really, but it would be cool).
I was married to one of these evil souls. Had I known he was the son of Satan, I would not have dated him, moved to Illinois to marry him, leaving behind a job I loved to take one that was less than pleasant. 0/10 would not recommend.
Now divorced, this real-life neckbeard and “men’s rights activist” has told his friends that I draw cartoons of him and write stories about him.
Has he heard of Squirrely Dan?
My ex works as a senior library specialist and loves to read. I would hope that someone like him, whom I would think has a good grasp on literacy would understand that Damien and all the other morons on this blog are fictional characters — as in pretend people, not real ones. DUH.
Apparently my former husband thinks he works in a movie theater, like the random stranger whom I had met in 2004. Just like the fictional Damien Ulysses Hurlbutt, this real-life despot had been offering cloned movie tickets in return for a date, to us call-center coworkers taking breaks outside. I did not meet my ex until 2008.
I will never forgive my ex for trying to turn the spouse of my late friend against me in his smear-campaigning. Such a tender-heart, a self-proclaimed “old soul” writes lunacy letters like the drivel below and sends them to his estranged spouse’s medical providers.
Because, umm, a librarian knows more about psychology than an actual mental health provider? yeah…no.
My ex thinks so. Behold part of this lunacy letter he sent to my mental health team:
I will never forgive him for telling me he was “a nice guy for not throwing me into oncoming traffic” while we were walking into the hospital. Yeah, a really nice guy NiceGuy™ does that, right?
I will never forgive him for manipulating the divorce judge into letting him take custody of my cat Holly, whom he repeatedly hit (“it’s just a light tap” he gaslit when caught) and put into the shower to “punish.” Who does that to a cat? Has he helped move a body or something? Sadly he took the cat from me…
I will never forgive my ex for idealizing, devaluing me and then attempting to discard me, shortly before I left him. Rumor has it, he still obsesses over me, and makes feeble attempts to smear campaign me using the same DARVO tactics and made-up mental health diagnosis he had used in 2017. I imagine he pushes away what little friends narcissistic supply he has left.. Like his bootlicker friend once said to me, I wish he would “get over it, just move on.”
With narcadoodles, every projection is a confession.
I write and draw MoronicArts stories to cope with having been abused. I feel it helps and I am a lot happier back in New York State, doing my own thing, living with my sweet kitty, creating music, learning to speak other languages and making Youtube videos.
My hope is that my stories help others who have been abused by these monsters cope and process the crap they have been going through and hopefully bring a little joy to them, and myself also. Oh and it s fun to draw silly cartoons of fake events and pretend people doing moronic things to each other..
Do you think you may going through domestic violence or know someone who suffers it? Emotional abuse is still abuse and a form of domestic violence. Please click this link to learn more and to find help in your area: https://www.nomore.org/the-no-more-global-directory/
Your needs are valid, I believe you, and you are not alone. Healing is possible, as hard as it may seem.
What kind of songs do the denizens of the Moroniverse like? Here’s a list. Have fun!
Kankakee bill collector Sybil Kibble misses eating King Kuts dog food.
JoAnn Kibble raps along to this safety song while rearranging her collection of school bus parts.
Robbie Hurlbutt sure thinks he’s number one.
Bourbonnais neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt used to jam out to this tune while driving to work at the Teirant Cinema-13, before he got captured trying to storm Area 51.
Wacky inventor and drugstore owner Wally Green doesn’t accept “no” for an answer when he thinks he has found the magnet to his steel.
Konrad Teirant plays a lot of Dirty Games.
Bernadette M. Cacca had loved her Turd Machine Deluxe so much, she went out and bought 19 more of them.
Gothic Diana Ross turns the men upside down with her long, long notes.
Ant D. Yu was having fun spinning this tune at the Manteno Optimal Club until Bernadette Cacca and her Poopy Groupies had showed up and made a stink. Word has it he still plays it when she’s not there.
Pat Splatt loves spammity spam, spam spam spam, beautiful spam spam spam spam.
Brandon Dixon thinks his tractor…mmm…imbecile machine is sexy.
One half of the rap group The Chickenheads, Tyrell “Ty-Fowl” Fowler burps along to this song:
Without it, we’d all be using port-o-dumps (or outhouses perhaps, that is, if we don’t mind the splinters)
Big up to LAERAfoolish for drawing the first fan-art ever of the changeling humanoid vulture Carla Moran shapeshifting before our eyes! You rock!
The creator of fictional stories about cartoony people living in Kankakee County would like to express their concern for the real life people who survived the tornadoes there.
If you’re reading this from KaCo please let me know if you’re okay.
Thank you first responders and weather crews who helped out the residents hit by the destruction left in the wake of the twisters.
Sincerely, this former Illinoisan.
I just may have been interviewed on a really cool comedy show called “The Aunty Sochelle Hour-Ish Show” about the Moroniverse and shapeshifting humanoid turkey vultures like Carla Moran. Maybe. Methinks a wee little birdy told me that the star of this show had performed with Second City and at The Comedy Store.
I may have just talked about them on the radio too…something something creature something…with a witch that’s really nice, who does not inhabit a bog (unlike Bernadette Cacca).
Why stop at first names when we can talk about the entire moronic moniker manufacturing process?
After doing port-a-jobs, queen of the plastic throne Bernadette Moran Cacca likes to “Bern” the port-a-poopies in her fireplace after lighting her farts to kindle the BMs. Meanwhile her other half (one of them anyway), Peppi Peter Cacca rolls the port-a-pee into his skunkweed to make it smell extra skunky, much to the chagrin of next-door-neighbors Gothic Diana Ross & The Midnight Supremes.
Robert Roy Gary Hurlbutt‘smother PJ loves to brag about the night her Rotten little Robbie/Elvis impersonator and vulnerable narc was conceived…in Gary, Indiana.
“RRGH!”
– Robbie Hurlbutt
Damien Ulysses Hurlbutt was straight up daemonic to his ex-wife Lori. Not anticipating consequences, the communal narcadoodle tried to storm Area 51, only to get captured by the Camo Dudettes and brought into the Alternative Fuels Department for daily flatulence testing. He’s the world’s largest source of natural gas…so…DUH!
Walter Augustine Green has been looking for the magnet to his steel, hoping to impress ladies at The Gaslight Bar with his tall tales of grandeur and playing of the nose air-horn since he cannot carry a tune to save his life…though that doesn’t stop him from trying.
Krispy Münchausen tells even taller tales than Wally, punches co-workers when she doesn’t get her way, and teaches locals how to steal lawn ornaments. She had purposely homeschooled her four kids to isolate them socially and keep them from learning important subjects like science and history, replacing them with Flat Earth yarns and antivaxxer poopaganda. One time she SWATted Gothic Diana Ross along with her sisters — then had the audacity to demand an apology from THEM! She brags about her plans to fly to the Moon to “prove to the world that it’s flatter than a pancake,” those unwillingly in her orbit wish she would take a rocket there and never come back.
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