Congratulations, Jim something-or-other! For caring more about stupid crap like the cemetery association’s Rules of Acquisition than you know, people grieving the losses of their loved ones, we hereby award you Moron of the Week! Maybe Quark will visit your grave when you’re pushing up daisies, and steal stuff. Gotta follow those rules!
Today’s Golden Moron is a real doozy. This dumpster fire had gone from bending over backward saying to a severely depressed person, “Get help. I’m worried about you” to blocking them two days later.
Who brags about working 50 hrs a week and volunteering 30, yet can be found on social media most hours of the day posting about lawd-only-knows-what?
Hmmm…
To the sixty-eight-year-old moron in Pittsburgh who had gone out of her way to passive-aggressively worry about a human being with actual feelings, only to block them, we hereby award you The Golden Moron Award! We would have painted it yellow and black just for you, however, we are way too busy.
We sincerely hope you get caught using Facebook at work – if you even do work — and if you do, you get fired.
Awww, so close to retirement age, only to lose your pension? Sucks to be you.
Dearest PooTube:
We see how very hard you choo-choo-choose to railroad Sybil into giving out her personal information so you can do lawd-knows-what with them. Maybe you sell them to data brokers so that any moron stalker, ex-con or fugitive can buy them. Maybe you line the birdcage with them? Nice try, you are not getting it.
For this, we award you the Golden Moron Award.
Oh Internet stranger, you slay me. The ignorance, it seeps right out your poophole and all over the internet. It’s like art, except you have ripped out a fart, and awarded yourself The Golden Moron Award!
Llongyfarchiadau mawr! (That’s Welsh for “Big congratulations!”)
We at MoronicArts hereby award every gatekeeper on this planet the Golden Moron Award. You deserve it!
Introducing: The Golden Moron Award! This prestigious trophy only goes to the cream of the crop of those deserving souls who do the dumbest of all the things!
Take this fool. If you are unlucky in love enough to be single and in search of love in all the wrong places, you might come across her (or one of her clones.) There’s nothing more romantic than a big moron not showing sympathy – let alone empathy – for someone grieving the loss of a pet.
Ahh, good old fashioned stupidity.
Tracyros (or is it Imma?), we at MoronicArts crown you Golden Moron. Now take a bow.
MoronicArts 
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