Tag: absurd

Golden Moron Award: Bye, PooTuber!

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Languages are cool, xenophobia is not. The MrBoast of Language Youtubers has announced his departure, and not even in an airport! Why, do you ask?

After studying a boatload of languages just enough to impress people — and make self-serving videos featuring his creepy mug bragging — this patron saint of goodbyes had blamed NYC “immigrants” for his move to New Jersey.

It costs nothing to not be prejudiced, yet here he is. Who goes to Jersey on purpose, let alone moves — or vacations there? To…get away from people who speak different languages…while making a language show?

We hope the door did not hit him on the way out.

The Philly suburbs would be great for him. Maybe he can get a job working for Virtua? This replicant would be a perfect fit, a great place for people who flunk the Voight-Kampff test.

For behaving like a complete and utter hypocrite, we award this random Youtuber the Golden Moron Award! We are glad your award-winning mask is crumbling and we can finally see your true self. Now get some better hobbies.

YEET!

Sybil Kibble Treats Herself.

~ Jen ~ 2 Comments

After a long week training her team how to screw up their new account Expeedia, lead debt collector and basic babe Sybil Kibble drives her Chrysler LeBaron home from her Kankakee job at Credit Recovery Associates (CRASS) to munch on some of her favorite treats and play with her lighthouse collection. LIVELAUGHLOVE!

Robbie Hurlbutt is a Bad Piggie

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“All that birdie-birdie-birdie, chirp chirp cheer those cardinals sing in their mating calls, it is so repetitive,” drugstore clerk, vulnerable narc-a-doodle and Elvis impersonator Robert Roy Gary Hurlbutt complains in his mother PJ’s Kankakee backyard.

“Umm, Robbie, I feel pretty confident Red is not looking to mate with you,” Sybil Kibble explains to the son of her neighbor and best friend PJ Hurlbutt with a smile as she plays the Angry Birds game on her phone.

Bern Cacca’s Stinky Stickers

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Communal narcissist, obnoxious driver and Manteno-based portable-waste operator Bern Cacca went to another Schmucks grocery store hoping to play her favorite drag-race simulator after her out-of-order experience the last time.

Though their Running in the 90s game was also broken, Bern did get to spend her quarters on cleaning out these vending machines instead.

For The Last Time…

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I don’t want your CrappApp!

Sybil Kibble nearly punches in her laptop, after having been bombarded way too many times from the glaring poop-up ads, blasted out the bum of her email site.