Wife of Brandon Dixon (owner of Brandon’s Imbecile Machines) and mother to his kids; Pris is highly nosey, butts into strangers’ business, but does not believe in answering to knocks on the public washroom door. Pris works as a Medical Office Assistant for a Kankakee Ears, Nose, and Throat doctor and has a reputation for purposely confusing patients just to confuse and gaslight them. Pris proudly drives a green imbecile machine she bought from Brandon, branded with “You just got passed by a girl” decals.
Pris was raised by wealthy parents who gave her everything she wanted. Pris feels that, because she is a parent, she should cut in line at the cafes and burger joints. She dislikes the childfree by choice and gets her kicks by invalidating their feelings. Pris feels that only parents can make a valid point, and that life does not begin until you become a mother or father.
Pris was arrested once in Chicago for randomly assaulting a disabled woman on a bus whom she did not know. Pris has been known to wind people up out of boredom and is not afraid of anything or anyone.
You should message Damien if:
You think money can buy love. He spends $50.00 on his coworkers’s birthdays, imagine how much he can spend on you.
Meet Madeline “Madwoman” Topolla-Teirant, wife of CRASS Accounting Chief Konrad “Kon Man” Teirant and mother to his kids.
Madeline met Konrad while drafting up his real estate deeds to ensure no other multiplexes can come to Kankakee. Human Resources Manager and Chief of Security at a low income housing complex, Madeline has a reputation for verbally abusing tenants. The superintendent calls her his “biggest asset”, however the tenants call her other things. Madeline gets her reputation as Madwoman for calling tenants “childish little girls”, literally pointing her fingers and telling them to do their own maintenance.
Madeline loves Nora Roberts novels and spends her free time away from her husband and children, sitting at the local bookstore reading. However, she never spends a penny, putting them all back on the store shelves after she finishes the endings.
Junk email broker, failing film student and sociopath Pat Splatt ventured to the Kankakee Spam convention with his new email harvest collection, hoping to score some new customers. Sadly, Pat was disapponted.
Kankakee student, wannabe filmmaker and socipath Pat Splatt poses for the camera. He sure looks like nice guy, at least he thinks so. What do you think?
It is game show night at the Autism Center and washed up artist and filmmaker Pat Splatt was hoping to pose as an a person on the spectrum so he can bully people there. Little did he know what was in store for him.