Moron of the Week: Useless Micromanager Admins

Are you spending less time than ever posting on the antisocial media that is Facebook?

So am I. Take this group, a chronic pain “support” group. A fellow spoonie asked what we do to distract our mind from pain. I replied with an article detailing my number one coping skill you know, to help others who also are in a crapton of pain.

As someone who despises pyramid schemes, snake oils and other woo (unlike the fictional Doris Krabalsky), I felt appalled at the moron(s) removing my number coping skill.

I dunno, maybe the micromanaging admins are secretly sadists.

Needless to say, I added that group to my ever-growing chopping block, downsizing my social media presence to reduce stress.

I have stories to write, pictures to draw, songs to sing and a cat to love.

Yes, that “support group” removed my cat video, along with the article describing my process for learning a new language well enough to write a song for my beloved kitty.

That’s okay, my cat did not like those admins either.

For solely pretending to care, I award this micromanaging “support-group” admin Moron of the Week. Writing helps me cope with pain, so I thank you for the story idea. You’re welcome for the award, you earned it.

Back In 1995, Bern, Pat and Diana Went to a High School Awards Assembly

Image: dimly lit cartoon group of three students sitting down

Communal narcissist Bernadette Cacca loves all the attention she is getting at the Manteno High School awards ceremony all students were forced to attend, complaining she might have to move closer to the aisle because she keeps getting up to receive buttloads of awards. Pat Splatt, meanwhile is bored out of his skull and Gothic Diana Ross is pleading to her homeroom teacher to take her out of her misery.

Wally Cooks Up Wacky Inventions

A black-and-white cartoon of an elderly man sitting at a table covered in mechanical parts, test tubes and a drink. 

Framed pictures can be seen in the background containing text: "Feel The Power Award. FT Power; Bunghole Business; I love Kankakee."


Winner of the prestigious FT Power award and proud member of the Bunghole Business Bureau, Illinois drugstore founder Wally Green loves attending award assemblies!

Look what Wally invented now:


CrapStraps
These bag straps are specially designed longer than they need to be, so they get caught on everything! Why get regular straps when you can get CrapStraps! Coming soon: StrangleTangles!


SpyTV
Are you stuck on the couch, watching the idiot box? Do you talk to your TV? Get the television that talks back! SpyTV randomly listens to your speech, so it can interrupt your regularly scheduled programming, just to sell you crap you mentioned! Upgrade and get our deluxe model that spies on your thoughts!


Magic Closing Doors
Do you hate it when a door stays open? Do you like getting your leg severed? Try our magic closing doors for your car. Old or new, we have a Magic Closing Door just for you!

Coming soon to a Wally Green’s near you, home of the 50% off (but never free) sale! We just graded our parking lots to make it easier for our carts to hit your vehicle!

Moron of the Week: 7 Feb 21 – 13 Feb 21

I am so tired of these Ace Ebb landlords. These petless wonders around here think it is okay to discriminate against us pet parents. It is illegal to discriminate against parents of human children — who make bigger messes than my five year old tortoiseshell cat — and should be illegal to discriminate against us pet parents. My cat just sleeps on a blanket all day.

Our rental market is so bleak for us poor folks, men create listings looking to give a break on the rent in return for “fun.” Last I knew these quid pro quo arrangements were illegal. Considering the bad things landlords around here get away with — both public and private ones — I am not surprised.

Also, thank the owners of the complexes charging $1000.00 – 2000.00 USD for so-called “luxury apartments” in a depressed area, during the middle of a freaking pandemic.

For taking advantage of people, I award the Utica area slumlords and rent-sharks Moron of the Week. You deserve it.