Bourbonnais cinema clerk, neckbeard and communal narc-a-doodle Damien Hurlbutt does the fart dance when he goes to rip one. The only thing he loves more than his hoard is the smell of his own gas blasts.
Damien Hurlbutt, movie clerk for Teirant Cinema-13, stars in their new TV commercial. Can you feel his enthusiasm?
“I know.”
— Damien.
They know what they want, and they want it right now!
Call D. U. Hurlbutt at 500-FART-NOW
Damien Hurlbutt took this photo of his feet to put on his OKStupid dating ad, because he thinks it will really impress the single ladies out there. Damien thinks he his feet are really impressive. Damien feels he is a foot expert, as he really likes feet and looks at a lot of them. He records barefoot women on the home shopping channels just to watch their feet over and over again.
Damien admires his hoard, the love of his life. He is thinking of adding this photo to his PlentyOfFlesh profile, to impress the ladies. Size matters, right?
MoronicArts 
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