Tag: cartoon

Moronic Devices

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

New from MoronicArts Productions!

Houdini — The mobile phone that disappears into a new dimension whenever you look for it! You can only find the new Houdini when you are not looking for it. Look for the Houdini at a retailer near you, if you can find it!

KillJoy — The only mp3 player that changes tunes when it wants to, not you! Press its magic buttons and only guess what it may do. Maybe it will shut off, maybe it will switch functions, maybe nothing at all! The KillJoy mp3 player has also been known to steal souls. Use at your own risk.

Mr. Plopsy — This quad cane has a mind of its own! Built with four prongs at the bottom, your new cane will entertain for hours when it wibble-wobbles, then plops! Why get a stable cane when you can get Mr. Plopsy?

Coming soon to a Wally Green’s near you!

Wanna Buy An Oil?

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Doris Krabalsky is Kankakee town troll Leona Krabalsky’s younger sister who sells essential snake oils, investments you can sell your friends, stinky pink drinks, and other MLM products on the streets. Meet her at midnight. Or look for her ice cream…van.

Doris Krabalsky Wanna Buy an Oil 2

Upside Down You Turn Me

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Local yokel and poor Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt has a huge crush on Gothic Diana Ross, lead singer from the Manteno band The Midnight Supremes.

Robbie stalks Diana on Fakebook and Utube, telling her she is the best diva on earth and she can be the boss of him anytime.

Do you think Diana is impressed?

Mmmm…Spam.

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment
Image: a color drawing of a skinny man drooling

Kankakee County art student, petty criminal and junk emailer Pat Oswald Splatt drools over the new version of the SpamPerfect data harvester. Yum.

Wally Green’s New Vampyre Department

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment
Image: a black-and-white cartoon of a middle aged man wearing a vampire costume in a drugstore. Text reads: "Vampyre Department at Wally Green's."

Drugstore-chain owner, wannabe ladies’ man, and wacky inventor Wally Green introduces a new service. Only available at night, he feels his customers will eternally benefit.

Now, at a Wally Green’s on a corner near you, get your blood taken by their new Vampyre Department! As an added bonus, Wally Green’s Vampyres will make sure to screw up your bill.

Wally Green’s regrets to inform our customers we temporarily suspended sales of garlic in our grocery department.

Kitty Gets Ghosted

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Poor Kitty B. She has it bad enough living on the same block as Sybil Kibble and PJ Hurlbutt, dealing with their antics. She had matched with a guy named Dick who had swiped right on OKStupid, only to never hear from him again, like so many other time-wasters. She had said he was cute and all he said was “thank you” in their hour-long video chat.

She feels invisible, having been ghosted by a moron like him.

Kitty is taking a break from Internet dating to work on art and studying for college, meanwhile Dick is busy sliding unsolicited messages into Fakebook inboxes along with gross photos nobody wants.

The Kibble Family Portrait – 1970

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment
Image: a color cartoon of a mother and father, with their 10 year old daughter in the middle, posing for a family portrait.

The 10-year-old Sybil Kibble could not wait to go get her picture taken at the local Robert Mills photo studio. Meanwhile, her parents JoAnn and Eldon Kibble did not feel so sure about the idea.

Have you had a family photo taken? How did it go?

You’re In My Seat

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment
A full-colour cartoon set in a dim bar. A bald, bespectacled heavyset elderly gentleman sits alone at the bar until a very large man walks over toward him.

Alone at the bar after a hard day thinking up useless inventions, Kankakee drugstore owner and tall-tale-teller Wally Green slowly sips his beer hoping a pretty lady would walk in wearing a big smile. Think again, Wally.

Under The Bridge

~ Jen ~ 1 Comment
A full-color illustration of an older lady running underneath a dingy bridge. Graffiti text reads: "Robbie", "Damien" and an anarchy symbol can be seen drawn onto the underpass wall.

Town troll Leona Krabalsky runs from under her bridge between Kankakee and Bourbonnais after Manteno sociopath and port-a-potty entremanure Peppi Cacca confronts her for selling fake drugs. Peppi brags he has “ARI: Armed Redneck Insurance.”

Moronic Martial Arts

~ Jen ~ 1 Comment

Sybil Kibble takes out the trash after Damien stalks her.