MoronicArts Classics: Rachel Shelley is a Sketchy Character

Two-timing Rachel Shelley came over from Detroit to meet her OKStupid lover, Damien Hurlbutt, only to cheat on him with Kankakee heroin addict and useless hoser Leon Peeonne.

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Cinema clerk, neckbeard, and communal narcissist Damien continues to leave “M’lady” messages from his flip phone.  He thinks he is going to win because he is such a “tenderheart” and “an old soul.”

Move Over Damien!

Bourbonnais cinema clerk, neckbeard and communal narcissist Damien Hurlbutt is happy to finally have a new girlfriend to impress with his lovebombing of gifts, Miss Rachel Shelley of Detroit. Too bad for him, he cannot see the thought bubble next to him, as she dreams about her other lover, Kankakee druggie Leon Peeonne.