It is that wonderful time of the year. Kankakee bill-collector Sybil Kibble enjoys eating dog food almost as much as she loves bothering strangers probably eating something else to ask for money. To celebrate the things she loves, Sybil decorates her Christmas tree with dog bones with the high hope that Santa brings her money for being a good lil debt collector. Do you think Sybil is on Santa’s good list or naughty list?
The Hurlbutts get together for their annual Christmas shenanigans. After opening $1000 worth of useless crap from Damien, Kankakee store clerk, covert narcissist and Elvis impersonator Robbie opens the sole gift from his mother. PJ could not wait to give this to Robbie.
Robbie opens his present. “Maaaa, you got this for free from Sybil.”
“It’s an autographed Elvis picture! I got it for you because I know how much you love Elvis.”
“You paid nothing fr it. I spent $100 on that Blu-Ray player and the bootleg copy of Dune.”
“Money can’t buy you love, Robbie,” a disappointed PJ advises her spoiled brat son, who is throwing a tantrum like a three-year-old.
“I’ll take it. I can sell it on eBay!” the elder Hurlbutt son Damien tells his little brother Robbie.
The Hurlbutt brothers argue back and forth — after all, that is what narcissists love to do. PJ tries to break up the fight. Meanwhile, smoke is coming from the kitchen.
PJ runs into the kitchen.
“What is that?” Damien inquires.
“The Yule Log,” PJ sarcastically replies.
PJ takes the meat out of the oven just in time to stop a fire, and sends her dorky kids home so she can have a peaceful rest.
Before PJ has a chance to lie down, Sybil Kibble rings the doorbell.
Ahhh, holiday cheer.
Merry Christmas from MoronicArts!
Kankakee bill-collector Sybil Kibble loves the taste of dog food so much, she eats it on her breaks and for supper.
Because of the shipping delays, Sybil cannot find her beloved Alpo online to buy.
Frustrated with repeated bouts with the Spinning Cheerio of Death, she opts for Brand X instead.
Dysfunctional family portrait starring the Hurlbutts: Robbie, PJ and Damien. Merry Christmas from Kankakee County!
Bourbonnais neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt is buying his mother PJ one of those PeeATon bikes he saw on TV for Christmas. He wants her to lose weight. Isn’t he a real tenderheart?