Thanos had to take a huge whizz at the café, peeing all over the seat and bathroom floor. Since Thanos thinks he is boss, he left without wiping or washing his hands, leaving the mess for someone else to clean. If you sprinkle when you tinkle, wipe it up. If you sprinkle when you tinkle, wipe it up. If you dribble when you piddle. Up and down or in the middle If you sprinkle when you tinkle, wipe it up.
Poor Thanos. He has been waiting to use the coffeehouse washroom, growing ever angry by the minute since his latte made him have to go. Meanwhile Robbie Hurlbutt takes up space and time scrolling through Tindling looking for a date.
Oh what, pray tell do you think he is making? Wally wants to sell these inventions in the Kankakee Wally Green’s pharmacies. Look for them on a corner near you!
These sunglasses slip off and plop on the floor so you have to buy more! Other features that Wally think will change your life:
These glasses get caught on all your stuff, just to annoy you. Made of the cheapest plastic in Illinois, Glassholes smear constantly despite daily cleaning. Pair them with a face mask, they will be sure to steam up without fail.
Feel the power of Glassholes when they disappear within the bowels of your bag only to reappear when not looking for them.
PLASTIC BOTTLE TABS:
Mandatory for all Wally Greens’ products, they make all products you buy twice as hard to open! Buy one, get one 50 per cent off (but never free).
Now with even more errors, Autoincorrect is now pre-installed in every phone! Embarrass your co-workers! Impress your friends with each new autoincorrection.
HALF-MOON TOILET SEAT:
The half-moon toilet seat is a real game-changer, it only fits half your moon! Wally Green’s uses less plastic and you pay more money. Sit on it incorrectly and you might pinch your thigh! This product is a win-win-win for Wally Green.
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