Tag: dailyprompt

Behind the Moroniverse: Why Kankakee?

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Some people reading this silly story blog in their washroom might be wondering why these fictional fools live in Kankakee County. Maybe you are one of them. Who knows, maybe you’re reading this very story while pinching a loaf in Manteno.

Back in ancient history, I had lived in Illinois, before moving back home to Oneida County in Upstate New York. No, not the big city with the subways and the Muppets who live at 123 Sesame Street. See, I live in Utica, we never use the phrase “Steamed Hams.”

Living in a literal meme reminds me a lot of spending time in Kankakee County, but our town names back home are not nearly as cool. These fake stories about pretend morons are inspired by a lot of people from the Utica area, plus some living in the middle of a cornfield.

I like Kankakee County. I like Oneida County. Finding the elephant taking a dump in the room and then laughing while it eats its own dung is how I roll.

Basically basic Sybil Kibble’s home base.

~ Jen ~ 2 Comments

Basic bill-collector babe Sybil Kibble lives/laughs/loves to fill her Kankakee home with the most boring decor.

Is that a lighthouse or are you just happy to see me? Tour her wannabe McMansion to see her nautical crap — err, you could have done that in the past. She got so bored of it all, she gifted gave it to her mother JoAnn who lives in her basement. JoAnn and her squirrels plays rocket-ship with the pointy wooden trinkety things.

And then there is this Santa Elvis she permanently borrowed from her next-door neighbor and best friend PJ Hurlbutt. Rumor has it, her son Robbie Hurlbutt had got it after it fell off the back of a truck.

Sybil keeps it out all year because she is too lazy to put it away.

“Why take down all my Christmas stuff when Imma just gon’ have to done put it up again next year?”
— Sybil Katrina Kibble, Kankakee

Fertilized Minds

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Daily writing prompt
Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.
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“This skunkweed ain’t skunky enough. Gotta add more port-a-pee.”
– Peppi Cacca, Fartner, Peppi’s Portapotties


“Not more flatulence testing! Stop feeding me corn and send me home!”
– Damien Hurlbutt, world’s largest source of natural gas, test subject at Area 51’s Alternative Fuels Division

“I keep circling and circling…I’m getting hangry…gotta be some fresh carrion around here somewhere.”
– Carla Moran, Shapeshifting humanoid turkey vulture, Sterile supply technician


“These dog bones are making me constipated! I want a refund!”
– Sybil Kibble, bill collector, Credit Recovery Associates (CRASS)


“What are they burning now?”
– Gothic Diana Ross, Singer and Vet Tech

“Poop!”
– Bernadette Cacca, Entramanure

A cure for willful ignorance

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Daily writing prompt
What’s something you’d love to see in the future, but know you probably won’t live to witness?
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As my Aunty Sochelle has put it, this planet needs a cure for this disease called “Stupid by Choice.”

Common names for this affliction are “willful ignorance” and “narcadoodle.”

For now, I just choose to write about that crap and hopefully bring non-ignoramuses some laughs.

Cast of Characters

A very moronic listicle.

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Hear this story here!

Daily writing prompt
List 10 things you know to be absolutely certain.
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  1. Bernadette Cacca loves to poop.

2. Sonya Moran flew the coop.

3. Elena Ess has the scoop.

4. Wally’s machines go beep and boop.

5. Sybil Kibble loves to eat.

6. Damien Hurtbutt sure loves feet.

7. Shapeshifting vultures hate defeat.

8. Let’s go Brandon to the lifted truck meet.

9. Barry Reynolds plays his tricks.

10. All these nitwits make me sick.

Welcome to the Moroniverse!

The Moroniverse

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Daily writing prompt
What place in the world do you never want to visit? Why?
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Who would want to hang out with this band of fools?

Unlike the real Midwest, where I had lived for five-and-a-half-years, this fictional version is kind of like the dystopian Little Dark Age we’re living in — but goofier.

Although I must say, I would love to hang out with Gothic Diana Ross & The Midnight Supremes. Can you blame me?

Things These Morons LiveLaughLove.

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Daily writing prompt
What are three objects you couldn’t live without?
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“Dog bones, water, washrooms”
– Sybil Kibble, Bill Collector, Kankakee


”Life, death and everything in-between”
– Gothic Diana Ross, Singer and Vet Tech, Manteno



”Showers, fedoras and food that’s not corn…preferably cheeseburgers and fries…M’lady.“
– Damien Hurlbutt, Area 51 test subject (Formerly of Bourbonnais and Champaign



”Elvis records, blue suede shoes and fine women!”
– Robbie Hurlbutt, singer and pharmacy clerk, Kankakee



“Poop, poop and more poop”
– Bernadette M. Cacca, entramanure, Manteno




Crapstraps, Turd Machines and Mr. Plopsy Canes. I should know, I invented them myself!”
– Wally Green, Pharmacy chain owner, Bradley (Formerly of Deerfield)

Behind the Moroniverse: I don’t eat cannibals, butt, my characters might

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Daily writing prompt
You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?
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I just may have been interviewed on a really cool comedy show called “The Aunty Sochelle Hour-Ish Show” about the Moroniverse and shapeshifting humanoid turkey vultures like Carla Moran. Maybe. Methinks a wee little birdy told me that the star of this show had performed with Second City and at The Comedy Store.

I may have just talked about them on the radio too…something something creature something…with a witch that’s really nice, who does not inhabit a bog (unlike Bernadette Cacca).

The Turd Machine Deluxe: Bernadette Cacca

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Daily writing prompt
The most important invention in your lifetime is…
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Manteno’s very own bog witch, entramanure and communal narcadoodle Bernadette M Cacca loves her Turd Machines so much, she mounted one on each wall and windowsill.

“Gotta get rid of that Gothic Diana Ross!”
— Bernadette Moran Cacca, Manteno

She even guards her basement turd vault, full of craptocoins and Newly Formed Turds (N.F.T.s) with one Turd Machine Deluxe on each side.

Poop only, please.