Wally Green’s New Self-Checkout

To save money on staffing, Kankakee drugstore owner, wacky inventor and barfly Wally Green installed the new HAL 9000 Grocery Scanners in his corner stores, designed by engineering students from the University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana.

“Quantity needed…Dave.”

“Don’t forget to take your items…Dave.”

“Don’t forget to take your items…Dave.”

Inferior Model Replicants

Behold, the Tyrell Corporation’s inferior model Nexus replicants:

Nexus-1 was their Turd Burglar model. All he could do was steal turds out of unsuspecting people’s toilets.

Nexus-2 had the strength and agility of the Nexus-1, and more skills. However, he lacked focus and was very lazy, spending most of his time trying to pick up women and failing.

Nexus-3, lacked the empathy of previous model replicants. He was built to stay on task and had good focus. However, he gained too much weight from eating burgers and fries at the Los Angeles In-and-Out Burger joints and had to be be retired.