Neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt tried really hard to impress his former wife, Lori, while they were married and living in Champaign. Just look at this birthday card he gave her one year! What do you think?
“Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Home Shopping Channel is about to show a whole hour of carpeting! I get to watch m’ladies walk on them BAREFOOT!” Damien exclaims, drools.