Sybil Kibble Fan Art!

Thank you DeviantArt user GlowButter for drawing Kankakee’s bill collector who loves to eat dog food, Sybil Katrina Kibble!

I love the picture, so does Sybil!

Check out their awesome art here: https://www.deviantart.com/glowbutter

Sybil Kibble’s favorite TV commercial

Kankakee debt collector Sybil Kibble sure misses the taste of her favorite meal. She thought of buying an empty can off cBay just so she could have a whiff.

Damien Dumped

Communal narcissist Damien Hurlbutt harasses his ex wife Lori on the 10 year anniversary of his lame showoff proposal to her, even though she is long gone from his life. Lori left him because of his love fraud and narcissistic abuse.

He downvotes all her Utube videos even though she blocked him all social media, as a glitch still allows blocked users to downvote. Damien clearly needs a hobby.

Detroit’s Rachel Shelley gets into a huge fight with her lover and fellow narcissist Damien. She is tired of hearing him complain about his ex-wife Lori.

Rachel chucks a bunch of Damien’s hoarded crap into the dumpster while he is out at work.

She leaves him for her side piece, Kankakee heroin addict and loser Leon Peeonne. She has had enough.

Damien downvotes Rachel’s and Leon’s videos on Utube while he is sitting behind the counter at work, thinking nobody is looking. In walks his supervisor, Konrad Teirant, theater owner, who suspends Damien for a week.

Damien comes home in the middle of the night after working the late night shift at the theater to discover all the things he loved more than Rachel — toys, children’s coloring books, $35 ornaments, $75 toys, $600 figures — gone. He jiggles his apartment doorknob repeatedly to check for home invaders, nothing. He calls out for Rachel. No reply.

Damien walks past the remaining boxes in his neckbeard nest, mostly empty — save for a few towels, ratty graphic tees and unused pots and pans — and thinks that Rachel has left with all her belongings. Think again.

Damien heads out to the dumpster outside his apartment and dives in, digging for his lost treasures. He throws a few boxes overboard. Damien continues to dig. Meanwhile a sound is heard in the background:

“Beep…beep…beep…beep…”

Hunka Cheese

Kankakee Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt — who believes he is the reincarnation of Elvis Presley — is number one in his own bathroom. Don’t lock him in.

Waste Removal

Shady Bourbonnais neckbeard and communal narcissist Damien Hurlbutt went dumpster diving the morning after he and his part-time lover from Detroit, Rachel Shelley, got into a bitter fight and she threw some of his hoarded items into the dumpster.

“Dumpster! Dumpster! Dumpster!” Rachel cried as she chucked Damien’s hoard into the metal hopper outside his apartment.

As Damien dug for the treasures he loved more than his woman, little did he notice the danger lurking behind him.

Operation Dantés Inferno

Clockwise from left: Robbie Hurlbutt, Bernadette Cacca, Damien Hurlbutt, Pat Splatt, Peppi Cacca.

YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT: DROP ALL NARCISSISTS INTO A VOLCANO AND VAPORIZE THEM SO THEY CANNOT MAKE MORE.

These morons will self-destruct in five seconds.


Dale Sits in the Corner

Credit Recovery Associates, LLC (CRASS) Bill Collector Dale Davis sits in the company break-room corner, all by his lonesome, wishing his boss / crush Sybil Kibble would come join him. He never asked her, just assumed.

He cut his hair and shaved his moustache just for her. Oh darn.

Damien’s Super Soft Birthday Message

As much as Bourbonnais communal narcissist and fedora-sporting neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt wanted to attend his big birthday bash, he could not make it because he got stuck on the toilet.

Instead, we bring you these important words from Squirrely Dan.

Thanos Needs to Take a Number One

Image: a full colour comic page. First panel features an angry Thanos closeup. Second panel features a skinny young male texting in the bathroom.

Poor Thanos. He has been waiting to use the coffeehouse washroom, growing ever angry by the minute since his latte made him have to go. Meanwhile Robbie Hurlbutt takes up space and time scrolling through Tindling looking for a date.

Wanna Buy An Oil?

Doris Krabalsky is Kankakee town troll Leona Krabalsky’s younger sister who sells essential snake oils, investments you can sell your friends, stinky pink drinks, and other MLM products on the streets. Meet her at midnight. Or look for her ice cream…van.

Doris Krabalsky Wanna Buy an Oil 2