Tag: formaldehyde

Wally’s Wacky Inventions: Ear Duds!

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Five out of three MAGAts recommend Wally Green’s new Ear Duds!

Try the blind-boxed special: Will one Ear Dud continually plop out your ear, or the other? Will the sound quit altogether? Will the Cord From Hell (CFH) get caught up on a doorknob and strangle you?

Buy one, get one Ear Dud half off (but never free) at your neighborhood corner Wally Green’s!

Try the Turd Machine Deluxe, now with larger crapacity! Add your favorite flavors: Sodium phosphate, monosodium glutamate and formaldehyde! Gift your loved ones the life hack that shoots your turds out back!

MoronicArts Classics: Wally Green And The Turd Machine

~ Jen ~ 7 Comments

Wacky Kankakee inventor and pharmacy chain owner Wally Green is busy hosting his live infomercial advertising his newest invention, the Turd Machine: “Just turn the crank, and shoot the stank! But wait there’s more!”

Manteno pretend-do-gooder, port-o-dump princess and communal narcadoodle Bernadette Moran Cacca, interrupts his broadcast to deliver an important message…