How Greg Got Undead

Manteno sociopath and sewer service owner Gregory Albert Schneissder likes to stir crap. Desperate for action, Mr. Schneissder drives his poopmobile down to The Gaslight Bar and hits on the ladies, only to have worse luck than regular customer Wally Green.

“I love your smile. Why don’t you use it more?”

“Yeah…no” Kankakee bill collector Sybil Kibble replies. 

“Will you have my baby?”

“Get lost.” Kitty Bee deadpans.

“What are you doing sitting in the handicapped section? Are all you other ladies taken?”

“I AM disabled you moron!” Linda Stay replies.

Dejected, Greg heads out to the swamp to relax. “Heyyy handsome fella! You look AWESOME!” a voice calls out from seemingly nowhere.

“Huh?”

“Yeah. I would like to have you for DINNER!”

A hungry Greg walks over to Bernadette Cacca who is bathing in the bog. 

“RIIIIPPPPPP”

“What the heck was that?” Greg asks as the ground begins to crumble beneath him.

“Oh I farted.” Bernadette lets another one loose. The swamp surrounding Bern Cacca takes the form of bubbles as the friction shakes the ground below Greg, who stumbles a bit.

Bernadette gives Greg the bedroom eyes. Attracted by the scent and Bernadette’s charm, Greg feels intrigued. Bernadette sings her mating call.

“Come here you handsome piece of meat!”

Hypnotized by the smelly siren, Greg cannot resist. He not felt this attracted since back in 1991, he saw someone going down the road who owned one, a 1988 Chrysler Conquest.

road1991

Bog witch Bernadette takes Greg by the leg and eats him for dinner. Then she farts a bunch of times.