The dusk is hitting Manteno, Illinois. Before she has a chance to slither into her bog, a certain village trustee gets into it with a disabled veteran. Having no shame, she will do anything to put others down. The swamp witch emerges from seemingly nowhere.

“Why are you taking pictures?” Bernadette Moran Cacca bothers someone minding their own business, enjoying the sunset. Ennui and lack of narcissistic supply has given her the cravings for attention of any kind, good or bad.

“I live here. Nice night.. Nice to meet you. I’m Shanna.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s me, Bernadette, I went to school with you.”

“Oh hey, you’re still in Manteno?”

“Now you see the real me! I don’t like you. Now keep on walking.”

“Walk do not run, Bernie. The Village of Manteno has turned on its citizens,” Gothic Mary of the Midnight Supremes tells the Queen of the Porcelain Throne, narc-a-doodle-doo and washed up former wrestler formerly known as The Manteno Wonder.

“Now if you disagree with the fascist council member that also runs the Optimal Club, you will be shut down and shut up,” Gothic Mary, member of the Midnight Supremes tells Shanna.

“Oh hey, I remember you Mary, what’s up?”

“She used to get mad at my sonic sneezes that I cannot control and then peel out her driveway yelling the N-word. I had told our classmates but nobody would believe me. She was much more prejudiced than I thought but pretended to be an ally who cared about other cultures, and people in general. She actually had said she got a better ‘gold star bisexual’ to taunt me into taking her back, thinking I’d get jealous. First she was bragging on about how perfect things were going between them, that I was ‘too sensitive’ to give her what she wanted, and how she will change and mold everyone in town into something special. This town has always been great and would be even better without her and her Craptocoins.

“Who’s that smelly dude over there in the baggy clothes? Is he a meth-head?”

“No, that’s our resident zombie Greg. He used to own a sewer business until Bernadette had him for supper down in the bog. Then he got re-animated.

“Hey Greg! I hear they sell fried brains down in Evansville, Indiana,” Shanna yells out. Gothic Diana Ross joins Mary and Flo in giggling.

“Okayyyyy…In America there are three mountains in regions where it snows on top of the river and in other regions it is 180 degrees because mountains control temperatures backward towards chemtrails. Unless we make inflatable artificial bounce mountains on the face of the Moon base to control the weather, we will always have these weather problems which can be changed in five minutes. Brains? Brains branes brainnnnnnz…”

Undead Greg Schneissder wanders down to Indiana to find himself one…if only.

Greg heads to a truck stop to make a pit stop so he can empty out his toxic waste and then immediately refuel. While browsing the store, Greg shouts over to a man microwaving a packaged sandwich, “Don’t open that microwave until after it stops beeping!” The trucker just shakes his head and begins to pry the plastic upon plastic from his late night meal. “You’ll get radiation poisoning if you open it too soon. It’s in the manual.”

Greg comes up empty and eats some poopies instead, left behind some man who didn’t flush down the brown.

Ragged and scrawny as ever, Greg continues walking down to Evansville, after hitching a ride on a manure truck and sleeping in the back.

Night falls upon Evansville after the driver has delivered his business and Greg wanders toward a certain restaurant which specializes in fried brain sandwiches.

“Closed for rest and reset? What’s that?” Greg says aloud as he pounds on the window, breaking the glass. The burglar alarm goes off immediately as Greg climbs in, loiters around the restaurant looking for a seat.

“Doooooes this TV get the Aaant & Ding Show?

Undead Greg walks toward the basement to look for the cooler full of chilled brains only to fall down the stairs, crumpling into a bag of bones, a waft of dust smelling oddly like cheese puffs fills the building. Yum.