Bathrooms in Hell

April 30, 2023April 26, 2023 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

After another 666 hour shift checking in the newly damned at Hell’s front desk, receptionist Lucy Furr really needs to whizz.

“Dang it, this toilet’s got poop all over it.”

Lucy runs to another women’s room.

“This is just a chair with a hole in it! And someone tried to flush clothes down this toilet! Where’s the stall doors?”

In a frenzy, the bully from Kankakee best known for harassing an autistic girl on her college trip to Italy, Lucy Furr busts out the washroom, rushing around the first circle of Hell trying to yet find another one before she springs a massive leak in her drawers.

Out of luck and almost out of time, she tries one more powder room:

Charon Takes a Break

February 12, 2023February 11, 2023 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

“Boss, can I get a vacation? I have been taking souls down the river Styx for millennia now, and I need a break,” Charon the Grim Reaper asks Satan.

“Just one day. I will ask in-processing clerk Lucy Furr to fill in while you are out, as she is your backup. You need to train her first.”

“I don’t need training, I can run circles around you!” Lucy Furr demeans the tired old Charon. The harbinger of the dead goes on vacation and Lucy takes a trip to Albion, Indiana.

The notoriously crooked couple “Scary” Barry and Terry Reynolds are having their daily, bitter argument.

“You did not unload the dishwasher!”

“Terry, you did not ask me.”

“Just anticipate it!”

“I cleared the table and wiped it down.”

“That does not even count!” Terry screams at her husband who begins to feel the onset of a heart-attack. In the midst of their creepy fight, a shadowy figure looms behind.

Hell’s In-Processing Clerk Asks Satan for a Raise

January 12, 2023 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

“I have been working for 666 weeks now. Can I get a raise?” Hell’s intake clerk Lucy Furr asks her boss, Satan.

“No.”

“I work harder than anybody here. I do 80 per cent of the work. I can run circles around the other damned people.”

“We provide you shelter with free heat. That is sufficient.”

“How much longer do I have to work? I am gonna quit if you don’t give me a raise.”

“You are here for all of eternity. According to your records, you had been assigned here because you had behaved like a bully your entire life. You were harassing an autistic person on their trip to Italy, tag teaming with your cousin Terry. And you had continued to bully that same person, plus scores of others at the cancer center where you had worked the check-out desk.”

“I don’t care. Get me outta here.”

“That’s not my decision. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them. Now get back to work, or I will order you to the jagged rocks and bubbling excrement room,” Satan orders his subordinate Lucy.

Be Careful What You Wish For, Lucy Furr

December 11, 2022December 10, 2022 ~ Jen ~ 1 Comment

Lucy Furr, who had bullied an autistic student on their trip to Italy, is tired of working as Hell’s in-processing clerk. “Just sign the register” Lucy tells the newly damned who try and take over. All she wants to do is hand them pamphlets, and the regulations manual. “I wish I could clone myself” the adult bully says at her post. Lucy gets her wish.

Have fun!

Spontaneous Moronic Combustion

July 4, 2022July 4, 2022 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Hell’s in-processing clerk Lucy Furr, notorious for bullying an autistic girl on the class trip to Italy, rips a fart while waiting for the newly damned to arrive.

March 15th

March 15, 2022March 15, 2022 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Beware the ides of March.

Beware the butts of narcs.

Don’t let them light their farts.

Narc-a-doodle doo,

I don’t like you.

You don’t like me but you pretend to.

Narc-a-doodle doo,

I don’t like you.

I don’t like you, and don’t intend to.

Lucy Furr Visits Hell’s Coffeehouse

July 12, 2021July 11, 2021 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Image: Full color cartoon of a coffeehouse. A large woman wearing a pink outfit can be seen in the foreground, and a green ogre behind the coffee bar.
text reads "Level 9 Hell. Hell's Cafe."

During her 99-hour shift, Hell’s in-processing clerk Lucy Furr heads down to the 9th Circle to grab some joe so she can stay awake. “I would like an extra large latte with Irish Cream” Lucy tells the barista.

“We do not have Irish Cream” the barista advises Lucy.

“Okay, I’ll get an iced red-eye with extra shots.”

“Don’t you know where we are? We don’t served iced coffees.”

“Oh. Can I just get a cup of whatever you have? And make it fast. I need to go back to work.”

“We don’t serve coffee in Hell.”

“Then, what do you serve?” an angered Lucy asks the ogre working the counter.

“Misery. Satan put up this pretend coffeehouse to fake out the damned.”

Welcome to Hell

February 20, 2021March 21, 2021 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Kankakee pyramid schemer Doris Krabalsky and Bourbonnais narcissist Damien Hurlbutt both arrive at Hell’s in-processing department at the same time. “Sign the register” says Hell’s in-processing clerk and former Medical Office Assistant, Lucy Furr, who was notorious for bullying her roommate on their college trip to Italy. Meanwhile, Doris and Damien try to take over.

Behind the Moroniverse – Early concept art plus new characters!

July 31, 2020August 2, 2020 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Damien Hurlbutt’s birthday is coming up on August 10th. To celebrate his birthday, I would like to share some early concept drawings of him and other morons.

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