Sybil Kibble takes out the trash after Damien stalks her.
Moronic Martial Arts
Tag: microfiction
Needs More Butt Trumpet
“This song needs more farty sounds.”
“Isn’t it groovy?” Kankakee Elvis impersonator and wannabe ladies’ man Robbie asks his neckbeard brother Damien.
“I only like the fart parts.”
Happy Birthday Damien – August 10th
Happy Birthday Damien Hurlbutt! We hope you made it out that dumpster okay!
Sybil Snacks
Kankakee debt collector and dog food enthusiast Sybil Kibble hopes to find a bone with her name on it.
New CRASS Computers are a real ENIGMA
Sybil Kibble unveils the new “Enigma” computers for her debt collection team. “How do you get on the Internet?” asks a quizzical Dale Davis. “Just type “INTERNET” and then “RUN.” “How do you load the Collect-o-matic 2000?” a wary Judy Avelli asks. “Just hook the machine up to a parakeet cage and type away.”
Dumpster Dive Damien
Shady Bourbonnais neckbeard and narcissistic sociopath Damien Hurlbutt went dumpster diving the morning after he and his part time lover from Detroit, Rachel Shelley, got into a bitter fight and she threw some of his hoarded items into the dumpster. As Damien dug for the treasures he loved more than his woman, little did he notice the danger lurking behind him.
Rachel Shelley is a Sketchy Character
Two-timing Rachel Shelley came over from Detroit to meet her OKStupid lover, Damien Hurlbutt, only to cheat on him with Kankakee heroin addict and useless hoser Leon Peeonne.
Neckbeard Damien continues to leave her messages from his flip phone. He thinks he is going to win because he is such a “nice guy”.
Robbie Versus the Fire Hydrant
Kankakee idiot and disco king Robbie Hurlbutt dances his way onto a fire hydrant.
He thinks his moves are hot stuff.
Trouble with Kibbles
Sybil Kibble and her mom, JK, love Kankakee so much they hang out in front of the city sign (maybe a little too much). They need a hobby.
Damien Mansplains Excess Packaging to his Ex
For neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt, invalidation of others’ feelings is one heck of a drug, as is mansplaining.
