“You know, Bernadette: You cannot exactly drift a car with your suspension out of whack,” Gothic Diana Ross says to her next door neighbor Bernadette Cacca, as she peels out her Manteno driveway for the zillionth time and veers to the side of the road, releasing an awful stench since her oil is running on fumes.
“Are you burning rubber, or are you burning poopies?”
Kankakee County karaoke king, poor Elvis impersonator and covert narcissist Robbie Hurlbutt was so happy to finally get some people at one of his many gigs. Robbie believes in quantity over quality, or staying “prolific”, as Robbie says. Too bad his speedball dealer showed up.
Happy Singles Awareness Day from the crew at MoronicArts!
Why be alone, when you could be with Damien, president of the Bourbonnais Mens’ Rights Activists Club?
Have you always wanted a life-size Sybil Kibble Barbie doll? Neither did we. Be sure to call in now before they run out!
At age 12, Kankakee inventor of useless crap and future drugstore owner put on his thinking cap to draw up some rather…interesting concept sketches for an invention he started selling on late night TV. Yeah.
Blink and you’ll miss the house of Bourbonnais neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt, but maybe you’ll want to.
Kankakee debt collector and dog food enthusiast Sybil Kibble hopes to find a bone with her name on it.
Sybil Kibble and her mom, JK, love Kankakee so much they hang out in front of the city sign (maybe a little too much). They need a hobby.
Kankakee bill collector Sybil Kibble was so happy to finally have a visitor at her McMansion, where she rents her basement to her mother JK, only to discover it was just the letter carrier.
MoronicArts 
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