Poor Thanos. He forgot his gauntlet at home again. “I swear I grabbed it before I left home. I bet it is still there lounging on the desk…right where it was last time.”
“There’s Doctor Strange! How will I defend myself? What will I do without my precious Infinity Stones? I am powerless without my gauntlet!”
“I’ll just give ’em the ol’ stinkeye. That oughta do it.”
Kankakee drugstore clerk, Elvis impersonator and vulnerable narcadoodle Robbie Hurlbutt is feeling down because he cannot seem to get a date. Do you think he will ever figure out why?
Isn’t he a keeper? He thinks so.
Ennui struck this fangirl hard. After I had left a comment calling my social media acquaintance “a real ham,” this keyboard cockfighter slid this doozie into my inbox:
I copied-and-pasted the definitions for her (since the so-called journalist and radio announcer was too lazy to do it), but she kept on hunting and pecking anyway:
Is that a threat or a promise?
Instead of heading to bed – mind you it was 3:00 in the morning where she was at – she used my inbox as her toilet once again:
After blocking this bored orc, I reported her to Facebook (good luck) and to her employer. Though she claims to be a radio announcer, I did not see her listed on her alleged employer’s website aside the other presenters. Maybe she just calls them up and stalks them like that one girl who went to my high school.
I also sent copies of her obsessed fan-mail to my mutual acquaintances who work in the entertainment industry (the ones whose photos she tagged) as a heads up. Because, you know, gross.
Thanks for the love, Wing! You’re a real prize.
This Twittiot slid into Sybil’s inbox. Think of all the money she could have made should the spammer continued wasting her time!
Kankakee bill collector Sybil Kibble has to go for her anal probe next week. Her friend will abduct her to see Dr. Cartman and she will be pretty spaced out. No, she will not get a satellite installed, instead they will just be looking for hemorrhoids on Huranus and to remove any asteroids.
Coming soon to Wally Green’s: The Wallyt! This wallet made specially by the man himself Wally Green, has a kick to it! It will kick out your stuff randomly by having a party in your purse or your pants!
All your ID cards, credit cards and cash money will explode inside your purse, forcing you to play 52 pickup!
Buy one get one half off but never free. The Wallyt only comes in green. (Sorry to red yellow, pink, blue, purple, gray, brown, and black!)
Shapeshifting humanoid vulture Carla Rachella Amanda Medici Moran flies into the bog where her unwanted daughter, swamp-witch Bernadette Moran Cacca hangs out, perching on a nearby rock.
“Does my breath smell?” she asks a perplexed Bernadette as she breathes her stinky air right into her face.
MoronicArts 
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