Dealing With Robbie is a Real Chore

Kankakee covert narcissist, Elvis impersonator and wannabe ladies’ man Robbie Hurlbutt is busy staring himself in the mirror and kissing his Gothic Diana Ross posters, only to be interrupted by a call from his mother PJ Hurlbutt. 

“Robbie, you need to come over.”

“I’m busy.”

“It is imperative that you come over.”

Robbie drives his clown car over to PJ’s house, and pulls into her driveway.

“Hi Mom. What’s up?”

“I need your help moving stuff in the basement up here. I need to sell some things.”

“Ask your neighbor Sybil to do it,” Robbie demands.

“Why won’t you help your mother? I am living on a fixed income, I need you to call D-Mobile about my bill. Then I need you to wash my underwear and fold it.”

“I don’t have time. Look, Mom, I gotta run.”

PJ goes into a long tangent about her love of Lawrence Welk, her medical problems, and her thoughts on Millennials.

“Alright! I will do the chores! I am in a dark mood, and you’re being cold to me!” Robbie gaslights his mother, playing the victim because he does not wish to help anyone but himself.

PJ watches Lawrence Welk, cranking up the volume to get petty revenge on her even pettier son Robbie.

Behind the Moroniverse – Pearl Jo Hurlbutt

Back in 2017, I wanted to create a character inspired by my parents’ elderly neighbor who would call them several times a day, asking for favors, not taking no for an answer. Her original name was “Katy Scary.” However I felt the need to make some changes as the neighbor had gotten ill and sadly passed away. 

Instead of modeling the Hurlbutt matriarch after my parents’ neighbor, a former co-worker came to mind who fit the personality and loo of the character I was developing..

Some time ago, I had worked in a call center. If you had to call T-Mobile and were greeted by “Rep 12-3456”, that was me, and yes that was my real ID. Seated to my left was a young male who told tall tales of going to Afghanistan over the weekend and coming back to work on Monday. Seated to my right was this lady who wore muumuus to work every day, until our supervisor complained about her violating our already casual dress-code. 

This 55-ish slovenly lady asked me for help with her workstation and her calls. I have always loved to help people, however I felt this woman took advantage of me by asking the same questions repeatedly without showing her appreciation. At this call center, we could all relate to the challenges working with our customer base and would go up to a random representative in the break room and vent. However, the main inspiration behind PJ seemed like she was uncut for the job due to her poor emotional range. She had no regard for boundaries, just randomly talking to people bugging them, even if they had made it clear they were busy. 

Back in 2019, I parodied the Peloton bike ad which raised controversy from its sexist overtones. I drew her son Damien dreaming up the idea of buying one of their bikes to help his mother lose weight. 

Of course, her next-door neighbor Sybil Kibble thinks PJ is great, because she is just as moronic.

Money Can’t Buy You Love, Robbie.

The Hurlbutts get together for their annual Christmas shenanigans. After opening $1000 worth of useless crap from Damien, Kankakee store clerk, covert narcissist and Elvis impersonator Robbie opens the sole gift from his mother. PJ could not wait to give this to Robbie.

Robbie opens his present. “Maaaa, you got this for free from Sybil.”

“It’s an autographed Elvis picture! I got it for you because I know how much you love Elvis.”

“You paid nothing fr it. I spent $100 on that Blu-Ray player and the bootleg copy of Dune.”

“Money can’t buy you love, Robbie,” a disappointed PJ advises her spoiled brat son, who is throwing a tantrum like a three-year-old.

“I’ll take it. I can sell it on eBay!” the elder Hurlbutt son Damien tells his little brother Robbie.

The Hurlbutt brothers argue back and forth — after all, that is what narcissists love to do. PJ tries to break up the fight. Meanwhile, smoke is coming from the kitchen.

PJ runs into the kitchen.

“What is that?” Damien inquires.

“The Yule Log,” PJ sarcastically replies.

PJ takes the meat out of the oven just in time to stop a fire, and sends her dorky kids home so she can have a peaceful rest.

Before PJ has a chance to lie down, Sybil Kibble rings the doorbell.

Ahhh, holiday cheer.

Merry Christmas from MoronicArts!

Favorite Flicks of the Moroniverse

Wally Green

Cigar-rolling B-rolls Wally finds so interesting.

Sybil Kibble

“Scooby-Doo: The Movie” Sybil watches just for the Scooby Snacks.

JK Kibble

“The Nut Job” is the favorite of Sybil’s ma JK, since she, Sybil and best friend PJ Hurlbutt love to go out squirrel-watching.

Bern Cacca

“The Wonderful World of Dung” Bern Cacca wishes she can see again, because she enjoys pooping. Oh, she is so heartbroken it is not out on DVD.

Peppi Cacca

“Dude, Who Stole My Car?” is the only movie Peppi can understand.

Damien Hurlbutt

“Batman Returns” is at the top of this narcissistic neckbeard’s list. Damien feels bad for The Penguin because he identifies with him. He thinks the movie is all about him as he does everything else.

Robbie Hurlbutt

“Bubba Ho-Tep” Robbie Hurlbutt binges on repeat because he thinks he is the reincarnation of Elvis Presley. His biggest fear is being locked in the washroom.

Konrad Teirant

“Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room” Kon watches on the regular, so he can get recipes to cook the CRASS books.

Judy Avelli

“Stephen King’s IT” appeals to Judy because she has a mad crush on Pennywise. She has thing for creeps.

Mack E. Avelli

“Battlefield Earth” is the beloved favorite movie of the CRASS chief. He thinks it is the best science fiction movie ever made.