Tag: satan

Satan Unveils His New Welcome Sign.

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

As Hell’s Chief Operating Officer Satan unveils his newly procured “Welcome to Hell” sign — shown off by visiting intern Gothic Diana Ross — in-processing clerk for the newly damned Lucy Furr looks at her boss with visible dismay.

“Isn’t our new sign just peachy?” Satan asks Lucy as Diana continues to model by it, nearly getting hit a baker’s dozen times by the devil’s not-so-careful use of the pulley system.

“Couldn’t our money be better spent on improving working conditions? Hiring more people? Fixing the toilets?” asks the bully known for her tormenting of an autistic 20-something on their college trip to Italy.

“You have your own heated place for the rest of your life. Try being more thankful for the things you have,” Satan passive-aggressively demands of his clerk while sporting a devilish grin.

Meanwhile, communal narcadoodle Bernadette Cacca is still waiting to poop. All the other washrooms in Hell are closed for maintenance.

Hell’s In-Processing Clerk Asks Satan for a Raise

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

“I have been working for 666 weeks now. Can I get a raise?” Hell’s intake clerk Lucy Furr asks her boss, Satan.

“No.”

“I work harder than anybody here. I do 80 per cent of the work. I can run circles around the other damned people.”

“We provide you shelter with free heat. That is sufficient.”

“How much longer do I have to work? I am gonna quit if you don’t give me a raise.”

“You are here for all of eternity. According to your records, you had been assigned here because you had behaved like a bully your entire life. You were harassing an autistic person on their trip to Italy, tag teaming with your cousin Terry. And you had continued to bully that same person, plus scores of others at the cancer center where you had worked the check-out desk.”

“I don’t care. Get me outta here.”

“That’s not my decision. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them. Now get back to work, or I will order you to the jagged rocks and bubbling excrement room,” Satan orders his subordinate Lucy.

Fan Mail!

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

I never thought I would end up doing a Part 2 to one of my Morons of the Week. Here we are. As I have said many times on this site, it costs nothing to be nice. It’s not hard either!

This guy was so butthurt by having won his award — which he earned and deserved — he felt the need to retaliate via hate mail. I was nice enough to censor his name previously, however since he felt the need to send moronic fan mail, and make his covert narcissism even more overt, why not just print it as is?

Oh, and here is his crooked smile, yanked straight from the practice social media.

I am thinking of nominating him for Moron of the Month. If he keeps digging the hole of retaliation, projecting like he does, then maybe Moron of the Year. I might report him to the Health Department for verbally abusing me, as he is just going to keep on doing it to other patients.

To think, all he had to do was display a normal range of emotions, instead of — you know — verbally abusing a patient. Oh, and maybe apologize? And work on his own bedside manner? Oh heavens forbid we do that now! I would not wish having this guy as medical provider on my worst enemy and he is also a narcissist!

I had no problems with any other staff, nor patients, not that it would come as a surprise. Typical projection comes from typical narcissists. They’re all the same fragile replicants, as far as I am concerned, and pretty predictable once one figures out they are narcissistic.