Sybil’s Got a Dating Site Match!

Sybil Kibble has matched very closely with this single guy. He drives a Chrysler LeBaron just like Sybil does. They could drive off into the sunset in matching cars. Sybil is going to write to him and ask this do-it-yourselfer if he will eat dog food if she fixes it for him.

https://cheezburger.com/9707781/bill-the-tinder-profile-weve-been-waiting-for

The Card From Damien H.

Neckbeard narcissist Damien Hurlbutt tried really hard to impress his former wife, Lori, while they were married and living in Champaign. Just look at this birthday card he gave her one year! What do you think?

Birthday Greetings to Sybil Kibble!

Happy Birthday to Sybil Kibble! We hope your day is a real treat!

Rock on!

Oh my, Kankakee Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt only wishes he could be one iota as good as these guys!

“You are what you eat”

— Rammstein

She has the skills that pay the bills, alright

Kankakee Bill Collector Sybil Kibble cannot wait to take her break doubling down on debtors so she can have a snack. Yum!

Damien is Number One Alright

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Bourbonnais, Illinois narcissist and fedora-sporting neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt, nortorious for writing his lunacy letters, posted this new picture to his dating ad on Tindling. What do you think?

She’s A Mad, Mad, Woman

Meet Madeline “Madwoman” Topolla-Teirant, wife of CRASS Accounting Chief Konrad “Kon Man” Teirant and mother to his kids.

Madeline met Konrad while drafting up his real estate deeds to ensure no other multiplexes can come to Kankakee. Human Resources Manager and Chief of Security at a low income housing complex, Madeline has a reputation for verbally abusing tenants. The superintendent calls her his “biggest asset”, however the tenants call her other things. Madeline gets her reputation as Madwoman for calling tenants “childish little girls”, literally pointing her fingers and telling them to do their own maintenance.

Madeline loves Nora Roberts novels and spends her free time away from her husband and children, sitting at the local bookstore reading. However, she never spends a penny, putting them all back on the store shelves after she finishes the endings.

Damien’s High Fashion

Damien Hurlbutt took this photo of his feet to put on his OKStupid dating ad, because he thinks it will really impress the single ladies out there. Damien thinks he his feet are really impressive. Damien feels he is a foot expert, as he really likes feet and looks at a lot of them. He records barefoot women on the home shopping channels just to watch their feet over and over again.

Doris Studies Scheming

Doris Krabalsky is getting frustrated at the lack of interest in her pyramid schemes, despite her best attempt to convince strangers on the street that essential snake oils can cure all the ailments. She heads to a local cafe to read up on marketing tactics so she can hopefully become the bossbabe she wants to be when she grows up someday.

Doris Krabalsky Shilling, Shivering.

Anything to make a sale, Bossbabe?