Tag: single life

She Walked Into a Bar…(A MoronicArts Classic)

~ Jen ~ 2 Comments
From 2020

Linda walked into a Kankakee bar to get a drink, not knowing all the single men would take notice. Who will she choose?

Robbie, PJ and Damien Hurlbutt

Pharmacy clerk, vulnerable narcissist and Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt?

Cinema clerk, neckbeard and communal narc-a-doodle Damien Hurlbutt?

Wally Green Brainless-storms

Wacky inventor, drugstore owner and sadist Wally Green? 

Dale thinks he is worth your time.

CRASS Bill collector, and desperate hillbilly Dale Davis?

So many bottom-feeders, so little time.

“Dating is like shooting a bunch of arrows and missing the target every time.”

– Linda Stay

Moron of the Week – Bored Wannabe Playboy

~ Jen ~ 3 Comments

It’s not really hard to impress me. Ask me questions about what music I like, and my favorite hobbies. Ask about MoronicArts, I don’t care.

Sadly, about 95 per cent of interested suitors get this part wrong. How had is to to…you know…try?

Take this rando who slid into my inbox:

For acting like most of the other guys, and then probably complaining to your male friends why you cannot get a partner, I award this dime-a-dozen douche and all others like him Moron of the Week. Try and compensate for your deflated ego. You just got an award, dude!

Kitty Gets Ghosted

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Poor Kitty B. She has it bad enough living on the same block as Sybil Kibble and PJ Hurlbutt, dealing with their antics. She had matched with a guy named Dick who had swiped right on OKStupid, only to never hear from him again, like so many other time-wasters. She had said he was cute and all he said was “thank you” in their hour-long video chat.

She feels invisible, having been ghosted by a moron like him.

Kitty is taking a break from Internet dating to work on art and studying for college, meanwhile Dick is busy sliding unsolicited messages into Fakebook inboxes along with gross photos nobody wants.

Sybil’s Got a Dating Site Match!

~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Sybil Kibble has matched very closely with this single guy. He drives a Chrysler LeBaron just like Sybil does. They could drive off into the sunset in matching cars. Sybil is going to write to him and ask this do-it-yourselfer if he will eat dog food if she fixes it for him.

https://cheezburger.com/9707781/bill-the-tinder-profile-weve-been-waiting-for