Moron Kombat

Communal narcissist and poopyburner Bern Cacca decides to shed her squeaky-clean facade a bit and try posing for OnlyFarts.

Bored with the lack of attention and revenue from her side-hustle, Bern heads out to the Bourbonnais Buckstars café to grab a cuppa mud. Ennui took over; Bern sat around hoping customers would recognize the wannabe celebrity that is THE Bernadette Cacca, charity singer and Port-O-Dump Proprietor. Nope.

In walks Gothic Diana Ross, local singer and Bern’s next-door-neighbour.

“You walked by Peppi and I and did not even say hi?”

Ennui took over Bern, as Diana heads toward the café bar to place her order, so she starts making up crap to try and smear her, hoping customers might just overhear her.

“Meet me outside” Bern whispers to Diana as she opens the coffeehouse door to exit.

Not wanting to cause a scene, Diana rightfully ignores Bern egging her on.

Bern follows Diana outside and starts hurling insults about her singing.

“You sing like a dying cow!” Bern screams to Diana as she lunges toward her.

Moron Kombat begins. Gothic Diana Ross knocks out Bern Cacca with one blow to her turd-eating piehole and walks to her car, not a drop of coffee spilled, unlike the bulbous Bernadette Cacca whose spilled hers all over the pavement.

Bern Cacca’s Grocery Store Tantrum

Full colour cartoon of a middle aged, white woman posed with her mouth wide open, pointing at the viewer. An arcade game can be seen in the background wth an "out of order" sign taped to it.

“I drove all the way from Manteno just to play Running in the 90s and it’s broke. Get me the manager!” demands the entitled 43-year old Bern Cacca, throwing a fit like a bratty kid at a Schmucks grocery store.

“I am the manager,” says Brenda who walks away and laughs at Karen, I mean Bern.

Bern says “I should get a free game” as she storms out the store and peels away in her white sedan, thinking she is in a drag race with the other customers.