Golden Moron Award: Buy This Guy a Mirror!

Have you taken class from a professor who was absolutely terrible, wondering how they still had a job? (Or perhaps you’ve worked with one?) I hope not.

Instead of spending his own time cultivating hobbies like a person with a normal emotional range, this Voight-Kampff Test failure made a conscious decision to develop a career judging how other people spend their time and obsessing over other peoples’ outward appearances in his series of bird-cage-liners “Time Use Papers” and “Beauty Research Papers.”

Author of such high quality ivory tower titles as: “An Old Male Economist’s Advice to Young Female Economists”, “Dress for Success: Does Primping Pay?” and “Why Are Professors ‘Poorly Paid’?”, this dodgy geezer thought he would take his ennui to the next level by throwing shade onto an entire country.

Methinks that buffoon needs some schooling.

Who sponsored this study? Why? Did Bernadette Cacca help poop it out? I have so many questions and I want none of them answered. Maybe he got confounded by the beautiful Welsh language because he’s too dense to understand it.

Kindness costs nothing, yet here we are. For hating on an entire country for kicks and giggles, we hereby award Daniel S. Hamermesh the Golden Moron Award!

We’ll even throw in some Craptocoins just for big fun since he needs the money.

Golden Moron Award: A Karen in a Far-Off Land

Picture a world, a wild Karen in a land far from her own. If she threw a tantrum in another language, would anyone understand? Would they care? That poor entitled Karen, so ignorant, she forgot to learn the language of the land. Instead of using the Internet to learn a new language, she used it instead to leave this complaint. Cook your own fish, Karen!

Because she acted like your common, ordinary, sad xenophobe – who clearly had a failure to communicate – we are proud to present Karen with this Golden Moron Award! One can only imagine how boring her life must be, but we’re too busy to care.

Golden Moron Award: Bye, PooTuber!

Languages are cool, xenophobia is not. The MrBoast of Language Youtubers has announced his departure, and not even in an airport! Why, do you ask?

After studying a boatload of languages just enough to impress people — and make self-serving videos featuring his creepy mug bragging — this patron saint of goodbyes had blamed NYC “immigrants” for his move to New Jersey.

It costs nothing to not be prejudiced, yet here he is. Who goes to Jersey on purpose, let alone moves — or vacations there? To…get away from people who speak different languages…while making a language show?

We hope the door did not hit him on the way out.

The Philly suburbs would be great for him. Maybe he can get a job working for Virtua? This replicant would be a perfect fit, a great place for people who flunk the Voight-Kampff test.

For behaving like a complete and utter hypocrite, we award this random Youtuber the Golden Moron Award! We are glad your award-winning mask is crumbling and we can finally see your true self. Now get some better hobbies.

YEET!

Golden Moron Awards Himself MoronicArts’ Highest Dishonor!

Oh Internet stranger, you slay me. The ignorance, it seeps right out your poophole and all over the internet. It’s like art, except you have ripped out a fart, and awarded yourself The Golden Moron Award!

Llongyfarchiadau mawr! (That’s Welsh for “Big congratulations!”)