Broken News:
Kankakee County Wally Green’s clerk, vulnerable narcissist, and self-proclaimed Number One Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt is dancing his way all around the county! Bourbonnais, Manteno, Aroma Park — look out!
Tag: youtube
CorvidCon – Coming Soon to a Backyard Near You!
Raven reviews about the bird convention to end all bird conventions: CorvidCon! All corvids invited, all ages, all species. Coming soon to a yard near you! Please bring a friend.
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Happy Weekend From MoronicArts!
Pat Splatt’s Radio Spamvertisement
Kankakee art student, sociopath and junk-emailer Pat Splatt advertises on a pirate radio station his spam-for-hire schemes. He is too lazy to get a real job, so he offers a CD containing 9,000,000 “live” email addresses he freshly harvested, all illegally of course..
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Moron of the Week: Bored Youtube Troll
“When I grow up I wanna be a Youtube commenter.”
– Nobody
We have all seen them, the Internet trolls, the lost souls of the World Wide Web. These hobby-less wonders sit in their mother’s basements and type crap nobody cares about, hoping to upset someone or two.
Ennui clearly got to the best of this bored tool. A lone kid behind a keyboard and a monitor, with nothing better to do than leave moronic comments on independent musicians’ remixes, he probably thinks he is the only person who ever made a song before. Or maybe he just wants to bother strangers because he has no life. Maybe both?
How does he get his housework done? If he is that bored, he can come over and clean my cat’s litter-box, and then do my laundry, putting it all away after he folds it. I will not mind.
When translated, the troll’s drivel roughly says this:
The self-proclaimed musical genius could have just scrolled by and found a song he liked better, listening to that instead.
Sadly, used his idle hands to become the Moron of the Week. This is a clear example of how he wasted his time.
Enjoy your award, dude. You earned it.
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Moron of the Week – Karaoke Creeper
I make many things: drawings, stories, songs. The way to my heart is through a love of my talents. If you don’t like my stuff, cool. Move on and scroll past. I am too busy, you know, creating things.
Meet Robert Arwyn Jones, A/K/A “Jones” on Youtube. He started commenting on my music. I liked what I heard and commented back. A mutual exchange, right? No, not in his mind; he was thinking with his other head.
That moron mistook my kindness for lust when we took our conversation to email.
When I told him I bond with people who like me for my talents, the karaoke king took the low road by gaslighting.
But wait — there’s more! My lack of mutual lust had gotten this moron so butt-hurt, he made the choice to hurl insults. Ahhh, the average schoolyard bully.
What a prize! For pretending to care about me as a creator just to try and lure me into bed, I award Robert Arwyn Jones Moron of the Week. Enjoy your award Robert, you’re a real winner.
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Bad Drivers Gotta Go!
If social media platforms had dating profiles…
Youtube
Location: San Bruno, California
Politically I am:
The copyright police. Wooo-wooo, don’t go to jail now!
About me:
Due process, what’s that?
I am good at:
Kissing up to the MPAA and RIAA, altering statistics for the heck of it
I am known for:
Knocking down content based off accusations alone; installing annoying commercials with cranked up sound effects and bad, bouncy, boingity music before as many videos as possible. I am not attractive among most of my peers, nor most people on the planet.
Location: San Francisco, California
About me:
Tweet tweet!
I am good at:
Saying things very quickly. See, that was fast!
I am known for:
The 45th President of the USA and his tiny hands. He is my best customer!
Location: Menlo Park, California
Politically I am:
Extremely conservative
About me:
I will tell you only what I want you to know. Shrouded in mystery, I have no support system and I am not good at answering messages.
I am good at:
Giving you updates on stuff you don’t want and not giving you the updates you want.
I am known for:
Useless changes and telling you the same story over and over again. I do not like nudity. Violence is okay.
MoronicArts 
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