Kankakee debt collector and moron Sybil Kibble sure misses the taste of her favorite meal. She thought of buying an empty can off cBay just so she could have a whiff.
Robbie Hurlbutt is an Elvis Presley fan, however he recently discovered his number one tune online!
Damien Hurlbutt sure goes out of his way to impress the ladies. Are you impressed?
Kankakee Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt, his brother Damien and his roommate Andy Skandees join together for a number.
“Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Home Shopping Channel is about to show a whole hour of carpeting! I get to watch m’ladies walk on them BAREFOOT!” Damien exclaims, drools.
Sybil Kibble got excited to see these dog bowls full of food samples. However her heart sunk when she learned they were full of human food.
Listen to Dale leave a message for a debtor based off Sybil Kibble’s silly idea written about here:
Local yokel and poor Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt has a huge crush on Gothic Diana, lead singer from Kankakee County band The Midnight Supremes.
Robbie stalks Diana on Fakebook and Utube, telling her she is the best diva on earth and she can be the boss of him anytime.
Do you think Diana is impressed?
Lila Croule, Kankakee’s grumpiest hair stylist and co-owner of Croule, Young and Lovely Hair Salon, cannot wait to trim the edges of her lawn with her new hair cutting shears.
Coming soon to Brandon’s Imbecile Machines:
Brandon Dixon wants to add a lawn and garden division to his Imbecile Machine shop in Kankakee. What do you think?