Self-grandiosity does not entitle a person to a Nobel Peace Prize. However, after careful consideration, we here at this wee lil comedy blog called MoronicArts feel honored to bestow this bigly Golden Moron Award, complete with glowing N.F.T (Newly Formed Turd) to the world’s biggest golf cheat, malignant narcadoodle, and wannabe tough guy with an orange spray tan who behaves like a toddler when he doesn’t get what he wants. Even the fictional bog witch Bernadette behaves better than this guy.
Someone, lawrd-only-knows-who, thought it would be cute to dump not one, but two plastic boxes of trash right on the green lawn of the Utica Parks Conservancy. This prize-winning behavior would make Oscar the Grouch blush.
For littering on the lawn of GreenUtica, I hereby award this muppet the Golden Moron Award. Just be sure to recycle it for the next nominee.
Having trouble finding an affordable apartment with a landlord who does not behave like the fictional Ferengi-loving fool Sonya Marie Smith Moran? So am I. Screw Quark.
Shelter is a basic human need. However RealPage begs to differ. Their script-kiddy algorithm enables corporate billionaire mega-lo-landlords who – through their love of money above all else – make rent go up exponentially, like a luser trying to 0wn pWN n00bs.
They also conveniently forgot that they could become suddenly disabled from a stroke, heart attack or natural disaster, because, you know, we are all human and it can happen to ANYONE. Now how would you, Mr. Row-lex and Mrs. McMansion pay YOUR rent?
In the Divided States of Dystopia, we hereby award each and every individual RealPage landlord, owner, and property management company collective Moron of the Year trophies for 2024! Enjoy them, you earned them, now own them. (But you can’t take them with you – or can you?)
Have you taken class from a professor who was absolutely terrible, wondering how they still had a job? (Or perhaps you’ve worked with one?) I hope not.
Instead of spending his own time cultivating hobbies like a person with a normal emotional range, this Voight-Kampff Test failure made a conscious decision to develop a career judging how other people spend their time and obsessing over other peoples’ outward appearances in his series of bird-cage-liners “Time Use Papers” and “Beauty Research Papers.”
Author of such high quality ivory tower titles as: “An Old Male Economist’s Advice to Young Female Economists”, “Dress for Success: Does Primping Pay?” and “Why Are Professors ‘Poorly Paid’?”, this dodgy geezer thought he would take his ennui to the next level by throwing shade onto an entire country.
Methinks that buffoon needs some schooling.
Who sponsored this study? Why? Did Bernadette Cacca help poop it out? I have so many questions and I want none of them answered. Maybe he got confounded by the beautiful Welsh language because he’s too dense to understand it.
Kindness costs nothing, yet here we are. For hating on an entire country for kicks and giggles, we hereby award Daniel S. Hamermesh the Golden Moron Award!
We’ll even throw in some Craptocoins just for big fun since he needs the money.
How best to get out the vote, than to contaminate your rivals’ food? Like a frat-girl prank, a group of girls are reported as having resorted to tainting the food of another.
What a great way to advance your cause, ladies? For emptying the contents of their brains into strangers just minding their own business eating, they have been specially selected to receive this collective Golden Moron Award! Now bring it home ladies, show it off to your friends!
How many trips to prison does it take to get into this moron’s thick skull? The world may never know.
This clown has been in and out of the criminal justice system so many times, he may as well move in. Get this career crook his well-earned three hots and a cot!
For smirking his way through life, we hereby award Maurice Kearse 50 Golden Moron Awards! That’s right, one for every time he has gone in and out of that barbed wire fence.
Time to reel him in for good!
Picture a world, a wild Karen in a land far from her own. If she threw a tantrum in another language, would anyone understand? Would they care? That poor entitled Karen, so ignorant, she forgot to learn the language of the land. Instead of using the Internet to learn a new language, she used it instead to leave this complaint. Cook your own fish, Karen!
Because she acted like your common, ordinary, sad xenophobe – who clearly had a failure to communicate – we are proud to present Karen with this Golden Moron Award! One can only imagine how boring her life must be, but we’re too busy to care.
Languages are cool, xenophobia is not. The MrBoast of Language Youtubers has announced his departure, and not even in an airport! Why, do you ask?
After studying a boatload of languages just enough to impress people — and make self-serving videos featuring his creepy mug bragging — this patron saint of goodbyes had blamed NYC “immigrants” for his move to New Jersey.
It costs nothing to not be prejudiced, yet here he is. Who goes to Jersey on purpose, let alone moves — or vacations there? To…get away from people who speak different languages…while making a language show?
We hope the door did not hit him on the way out.
The Philly suburbs would be great for him. Maybe he can get a job working for Virtua? This replicant would be a perfect fit, a great place for people who flunk the Voight-Kampff test.
For behaving like a complete and utter hypocrite, we award this random Youtuber the Golden Moron Award! We are glad your award-winning mask is crumbling and we can finally see your true self. Now get some better hobbies.
Congratulations, Jim something-or-other! For caring more about stupid crap like the cemetery association’s Rules of Acquisition than you know, people grieving the losses of their loved ones, we hereby award you Moron of the Week! Maybe Quark will visit your grave when you’re pushing up daisies, and steal stuff. Gotta follow those rules!
Today’s Golden Moron is a real doozy. This dumpster fire had gone from bending over backward saying to a severely depressed person, “Get help. I’m worried about you” to blocking them two days later.
Who brags about working 50 hrs a week and volunteering 30, yet can be found on social media most hours of the day posting about lawd-only-knows-what?
Hmmm…
To the sixty-eight-year-old moron in Pittsburgh who had gone out of her way to passive-aggressively worry about a human being with actual feelings, only to block them, we hereby award you The Golden Moron Award! We would have painted it yellow and black just for you, however, we are way too busy.
We sincerely hope you get caught using Facebook at work – if you even do work — and if you do, you get fired.
Awww, so close to retirement age, only to lose your pension? Sucks to be you.
MoronicArts 
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