Category: humor

Madeline Clowns Around

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Kankakee slumlord, cheapskate and overt narcissist Madeline Topolla-Teirant is trying to get her life back in balance during her Moronic Half-Assets (MHA) cross-country tour, coming soon to Utica, New York!

Fat clown balances on a ball while juggling, falls off

Wally Green’s Early Concept Designs

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At age 12, Kankakee inventor of useless crap and future drugstore owner put on his thinking cap to draw up some rather…interesting concept sketches for an invention he started selling on late night TV. Yeah.

Meet Peppi and Bernadette Cacca

~ Jen ~ 2 Comments
A black-and-white horror cartoon of a stoic, middle-aged man, contrasted with a wide-mouthed middle aged woman screaming, both wearing crowns.

Based in Manteno, Illinois — Peppi and Bernadette Cacca own and operate Peppi’s Port-o-Potties. 
“King and Queen of the Throne”

Peppi’s hobbies are drinking, puking and smoking cheap weed, the skunkier the better.

Bernadette’s hobbies are singing loudly, playing accordion and hanging out in the swamp so she can lure unsuspecting men. Bernadette has recorded herself badly singing opera and showtunes to play for on-hold customers in the hope they will hang up.

Meet Lori Brown

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This is a black-and-white cartoon of a heavy-set blonde woman sitting in an office.

Meet Lori Brown, estranged former wife of Bourbonnais neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt. A covert narcissist, Damien refers to Lori solely as “Grimace” while actively trying to get back with her so he can emotionally abuse her again. Lori works as a medical billing clerk in Chicago, loves root beer and burning poopies.

Read about Lori here:

https://moronicarts.com/2019/11/26/damien-exposed/

https://moronicarts.com/2020/07/24/damien-dumped/

https://moronicarts.com/2020/11/04/crass-ahoy/

Kankakee Finally Makes a Top Ten List

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We here at MoronicArts congratulate Kankakee for making number five on this list.

https://www.daily-journal.com/news/local/kankakee-county-in-national-spotlight-with-increase-in-coronavirus-cases/article_193188d2-2692-11eb-adc6-1bb597146101.amp.html

Did You See Damien’s Place?

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Blink and you’ll miss the house of Bourbonnais neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt, but maybe you’ll want to.

What is Wally Green Inventing Now?

~ Jen ~ 1 Comment

Wacky inventor and pharmacy owner Wally Green is busy creating wacky inventions to hopefully make himself a big bag and impress the ladies.

Oh what, pray tell do you think he is making? Wally wants to sell these inventions in the Kankakee Wally Green’s pharmacies. Look for them on a corner near you!

GLASSHOLES:

These sunglasses slip off and plop on the floor so you have to buy more! Other features that Wally think will change your life:

These glasses get caught on all your stuff, just to annoy you. Made of the cheapest plastic in Illinois, Glassholes smear constantly despite daily cleaning. Pair them with a face mask, they will be sure to steam up without fail.

Feel the power of Glassholes when they disappear within the bowels of your bag only to reappear when not looking for them.

PLASTIC BOTTLE TABS:

Mandatory for all Wally Greens’ products, they make all products you buy twice as hard to open! Buy one, get one 50 per cent off (but never free).

AUTOINCORRECT:

Now with even more errors, Autoincorrect is now pre-installed in every phone! Embarrass your co-workers! Impress your friends with each new autoincorrection.

HALF-MOON TOILET SEAT:

The half-moon toilet seat is a real game-changer, it only fits half your moon! Wally Green’s uses less plastic and you pay more money. Sit on it incorrectly and you might pinch your thigh! This product is a win-win-win for Wally Green.