Bernadette “Bern” Cacca has driven to Okanagan, British Columbia, Canada to seek out the last known copy of “The Wonderful World of Dung.” 

Sidetracked, Bernadette goes on a Monster Quest: to find Ogopogo. Bern is hoping to mine some Craptocoin from its poop to make a special variety of Cryptidcoin called CraptoCryptidCoin. 

“I totally have to get a selfie with this monster.”

Hours pass, no sign of the legendary sea monster Ogopogo. 

“Hey, anybody got some Ogopogo poop? I want to make a sculpture outta it. I’m a famous content creator and influencer from Illinois!”

“Who?”

“Don’t you know who I am?”

The locals visiting the lake roll their eyes from one side to another, slowly.

A group of offended Canadians hoist the relentless Bernadette into a cannon and very politely yeet her from the premises. Bernadette is good at getting yeeted.

“Sorry,” the crowd chants as Bernadette flies far far away, and then they slow-clap for her performance.

“What was that thing?”

“Swamp witch?” The man scratches his head and the crowd disperses.

Bernadette calls the bootleg tape seller, Gary, on her smell-phone and meets up with him at a local poutine shop. 

“How much do you want for the tape?”

 “Three fiddy.” 

“Do you accept Craptocoin?”

“No, sorry, only cash. That’s how you pay for stuff, eh?”

Bernadette checks her pockets which come up empty.

Penniless and disappointed, the entramanure drives back home to Manteno, Illinois in the U S of A. She and her husband Peppi burn some poopies from the portapotties which Peppi had brought home from a job and emptied into a bonfire out back.

While watching the poopies gleam, Bernadette looks over at her stoner husband Peppi laughing his bum off at a video he is watching online using his phone.

“Git!”

“Oh honey, not now. Maybe later on.” Bern declines Peppi’s mating call.

“What are you watching?”

Bernadette looks over Peppi’s shoulder to read his PooTube screen: “The Wonderful World of Dung.” It had been posted a year ago.