“Calm Down” Jina Vs The Manteno Wonder

It is the year 1997, in the month of May, day the first at the Bradley Amateur Wrestling League (BrAWL).

“In this corner, standing at 5’4”, weighing 250 lbs is Bernadette Moran, the “Manteno Wonder!'”

“In the other corner is her opponent, 240 pound 5’6” ‘Calm Down’ Jina Hansen!

“You beat me last time, kiss your beeehind goodbye!” Bernadette shouts.

“Calm down, calm down!” Jina gaslights.

“I’ll give you calm!”

The two Kankakee County wrestlers go at it.

Stagehands wheel a couple of beds into the ring and the ladies start to jump like five-year-old children. The crowd boos Jina and throws tomatoes, peaches, eggplant, radishes, and ranch dressing into the ring at her which make a sloppy mess over her bed.

Jina picks up the salad ingredients and shoves them onto Bernadette’s bed.

“Clean it up!”

“I’ll clean YOU up!”

“Calm down! Calm down!” Gina gives her familiar line which makes The Manteno Wonder anything but calm.

Bern knocks the crap off her bed and chucks it crap at Jina, who slips on the dressing spilled across the ring.

Bernadette pins Jina with her bum. Then she farts.

“One, two, three!” the referee chants as they beat the floor and the two jump up, Bernadette’s hand raised in victory by the ref, Jina’s farty head reeling from the stench, stomach about to retch.

It is the last time Jina ever wrestles. She is disappointed to find out it is all an act and goes back to her old job harassing customers at a local donut shop.