CRASS Chief Mack E. Avelli’s Vision

Dimly-lit cartoon of a dark-haired man in his late 50s, wearing a bathrobe and glasses, waving.

“God is that you, I have some questions,” asks Kankakee debt-collection firm CRASS’ chief, Mack E. Avelli. “I am sorry IF I have ripped people off. I was just trying to help. I come from a broken home, and my heel spurs really have been hurting. I have a stitch in my side…”

“Mack, go back to bed! It’s just your phone!” exclaims his 22-year-old wife Judithann.

Mr. Avelli checks his mobile phone, despite his wife’s plea, putting it on speaker:

“We have pre-approved loans and you still may be eligible. Press one now to get a hassle-free decision…”

Captured

A black-and-white drawing of a skinny blonde lady photographing a daemon at the mall.

“Ooooh, you’re cute” says 22 year young Judy Avelli, as she encounters Marty the Mailer-Daemon at a Chicagoland mall. Meanwhile, her 60-something husband, Credit Recovery Associates (CRASS) cheese-in-chief Mack E. Avelli is outside photographing roadkill. Judy captures Marty on film, while the mailer-daemon captures her heart.

New CRASS Computers are a real ENIGMA

A black-and-white carton of a skinny blonde woman gesturing behind an Enigma Machine setting on a table.

Sybil Kibble unveils the new “Enigma” computers for her debt collection team at Credit Recovery Associates in Kankakee, known better by their acronym CRASS.

“How do you get on the Internet?” asks a quizzical Dale Davis.

“Just type “INTERNET” and then “RUN.”

“How do you load the Collect-o-matic 2000?” a wary Judy Avelli asks.

“Just hook the machine up to a parakeet cage and type away.”

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