New CRASS Computers are a real ENIGMA

Sybil Kibble unveils the new “Enigma” computers for her debt collection team. “How do you get on the Internet?” asks a quizzical Dale Davis. “Just type “INTERNET” and then “RUN.” “How do you load the Collect-o-matic 2000?” a wary Judy Avelli asks. “Just hook the machine up to a parakeet cage and type away.”

CRASS Toilet Paper Giveaway

We want to TP everyone in Kankakee! On April 1st, come over to the headquarters of CRASS and get the scoop on poop! One brand spankin’ new roll for each customer! If you use both sides, it lasts twice as long!

Act now, before you get the runs, I mean we run out!

CRASS Chief Executive Officer

Mack E. Avelli

https://www.facebook.com/crassllc

PS: April Fools!