If you’re not Lizzie Borden, you’re not a life-hack, just an imposter.
Life-hack
Tag: dailyprompt
JoAnn Kibble Loves to Crush Candy.
Like the lady from the insurance commercial, Kankakee basement dweller JoAnn “JK” Kibble loves crushing her candy game, when she’s not watching 500 Left Turns or chasing squirrels.
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Don’t behave like these morons.
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The Craptocoin
Made from Newly Formed Turds (NFTs) mined the old-fashioned way, Manteno’s very own bog witch and doo-doo-gooder Bern Cacca says:
“Craptocoin can put poop back into your backside! Have a good do your business day!”
– B.M. Cacca
Be sure to wipe and flush. Don’t forget to wash your hands!
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Wally’s Wacky Wares
How dumb are the stupid regulations here in the United States that restaurants are required to put Fool’s Bread on every sandwich wrap and Camouflage Straw-paper on every straw? So dumb that Wally Green sells every variety!
Fool your friends, creep out your customers and puke-induce your patients with Wally’s patented Fakeout Paper every time they take a bite! Instant sensory overload guaranteed!
Buy one pallet, get one half off (but never free) at your corner Wally Green’s, home of the Turd Machine and the Wallyt! While you’re there, say hi to Deerfield native and Kankakee resident, Mr. Walter Augustine Green himself. The self-proclaimed “nice guy” is single and ready to mingle, ladies!
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Telling Tall Tales of the Moroniverse
Manteno pretend do-gooder, port-a-dump empress and Craptocoin hawker Bernadette Moran Cacca sure knows how to act stupid. I am so glad this moron and others like her are fake:
Slumlord scum, Ferengi lover and Poopy Groupie President Sonya Moran sure knows how to party.
Area 51 test subject, Squirrely Dan neckbeard, and world’s largest source of natural gas Damien Hurlbutt undergoes daily flatulence testing in their Alternative Fuel Sources Department.
Kankakee drugstore owner, wacky inventor and wannabe ladies’ man Wally Green sells his wares at the home of the Buy One, Get One Half Off (But Never Free) Sale.
Size matters! Over 500 short stories, some shorter than other, all free of charge to read here on MoronicArts. :D Subscribe using your WordPress or email account. It’s FREEEEEEEEEEEE!
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People Who Drive Like Bern Cacca.
Wally Green’s – Home of the Buy One, Get One 50 per cent off (but never free) sale.
The Bent Carrots
Daily writing prompt
If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?
Orange and green with a bent carrot on their jerseys – The Kankakee Bent Carrots would lose every game because they are too busy in-fighting to play ball.
Did you know that “moron” is the Welsh word for “carrots?”
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Archfarchnad?
My favourite Welsh word is the word for supermarket — “#archfarchnad”
Dw i’n hoffi coffi – I like coffee
(no covfefe about it)
Weithiau, dw i’n prynu losin – Sometimes, I buy candy
(Andes Candies are great, unlike Andy Skandees)
Llefrith, ffrythiau a llysiau — Milk, fruits and veggies are my other top three.
“Archfarchnad” is fun so say. It sounds like I am cursing, and feels just as cathartic, when I’m just talking about the grocery store. (Though I would not blame you one bit for cursing in Walley World.)
MoronicArts 
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