Tag: fiction

Madeline, You Tried.

~ Jen ~ 1 Comment
Black text on a white background reading "All RESIDNTS…A vacancy exists on the Board of Commissioner position…"
Property Manager, traveling clown, and overt narcissist Madeline Topolla-Teirant wants all the “residnts” to know there exists a vacancy on the “Board of Commissioner position” at Kankakee’s Best Low-Budget Apartments. Right.

The Narcissist Brothers – Robbie and Damien Hurlbutt

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A black and white drawing featuring concentric circles, a cartoon of an Elvis impersonator and a neckbeard wearing a fedora. Text: Robbie, Damien. Old Supply, New Supply. You Got It, We Want It. Robbie and Damien
New Supply, Old Supply — You Got It, We Want it.

They know what they want, and they want it right now!

Call D. U. Hurlbutt at 500-FART-NOW

A Dale and a Dream

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A black-and-white cartoon of a middle aged man sitting in his kitchen, scratching lottery tickets.

CRASS debt collector Dale Davis finally got his economic stimulus check, so he made a big donation to the Illinois State Lottery.

Happy Easter from MoronicArts!

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Black-and-white cartoon of three women sitting next to a squirrel.

Happy Easter from JoAnn, Sybil and PJ. What are you doing today? The Kankakee crew are squirrel-watching.

Coming Soon to a Wally Green’s Near You!

~ Jen ~ 10 Comments
Black-and-white cartoon drawing of a drugstore,

Toe Stubberies
Do you like pain? These might look like rollers, but these metal cylinders are designed to give you extra toe-stubbage! Perfect for your bedframe or office chair.

Extra Ploppety Pills
Do you like it when things fall? Increase your plop factor using the power of entropy mixed into every pill you swallow! Now when you visit Wally Green’s Pharmacy Department, be sure to ask for our patented ingredient!

No More Cord Tangles
Pour on your electronics cords to get the tangles out! This liquid works best when your devices are plugged in.

What will Deerfield, Illinois born drugstore owner, barfly and wannabe ladies’ man Wally Green invent next?

This just in.

~ Jen ~ 2 Comments

We here at MoronicArts are sorry to announce that there will be no toilet paper giveaway this year.

Bernadette used it all up.

We are sorry for the incontinence.

Bernadette’s New Bop

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Manteno communal narcissist and poopy-burner Bernadette Cacca just discovered her new favorite tune. Maybe she will perform it live for charity on accordion.

Bernadette Cacca Found Her New Best Friend.

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Communal narcissist and poopie-burner Bernadette Cacca wants to go find this chick and shoot poopies at Gothic Diana Ross out her turd machine together.

https://www.distractify.com/p/kaitlin-bennett-exposed-passed-out-drunk

#PoopingForKaitlin

Peppi’s Portopotties Drops Their New Rap Track.

~ Jen ~ 10 Comments
An old man raps while his middle-aged wife plays accordion outside a building in Manteno, Illinois.

Manteno sociopath Peppi Cacca and his communal narcissist wife Bernadette wish to advertise their business Peppi’s Portopotties on television. Bernadette plays accordion while her husband raps about how they are king and queen of the throne. Look for their new track on AudioCumulus.

Bernadette Thinks She’s Running In Manteno.

~ Jen ~ 2 Comments
Gothic Diana Ross gives her neighbor the side-eye.

“You know, Bernadette: You cannot exactly drift a car with your suspension out of whack,” Gothic Diana Ross says to her next door neighbor Bernadette Cacca, as she peels out her Manteno driveway for the zillionth time and veers to the side of the road, releasing an awful stench since her oil is running on fumes.

“Are you burning rubber, or are you burning poopies?”