- Write to classified ads from 25 years ago. Personal ads a plus.
- Forward those survey emails get when you give away your info at the store to all your friends in your contact list.
- Call 1-900 chat lines and ask for pizza.
- Burn girlie magazines in the fireplace. When the owner of the magazines sees what you’re doing and gets mad, tell him that you ran out of firewood and didn’t want to freeze.
- Wish somebody a happy birthday in the paper when it’s not their birthday. Better yet, make up names (and try to rhyme).
- Speak in tongues to telemarketers.
- Ring the doorbell at a stranger’s house right when they show the Publisher’s Clearing House van pull up on TV on the day they pick the winner. Then run away as fast as possible.
- Pronounce company initials and vowel-less acronyms as whole words.
- Call up companies and ask if they’re “hearing”. When they ask you what you’re talking about, ask if you can get an “aphlication”.
- Drive a motorcycle up your parents’ stairs when they’re trying to sleep.
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Published by Jen
Chief Moron Wrangler at MoronicArts.com
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