Oh Snap, My Dealer!

Kankakee County karaoke king, poor Elvis impersonator and covert narcissist Robbie Hurlbutt was so happy to finally get some people at one of his many gigs. Robbie believes in quantity over quality, or staying “prolific”, as Robbie says. Too bad his speedball dealer showed up.

Set It To Stun

It’s not a laser

It’s not a razor

It’s not a phaser

It’s not a taser

We don’t know what it is, but it’s coming soon to Wally Green’s.

“I want it! I want it!” — Kankakee sociopath and petty criminal Pat Splatt.

The Galaxy’s Best Job Fair

Darth Vader wanted to find a new way to raise money to build another Death Star, so he started selling a multilevel marketing scheme.

Happy Singles Appreciation Day!

Happy Singles Awareness Day from the crew at MoronicArts!

Why be alone, when you could be with Damien, president of the Bourbonnais Mens’ Rights Activists Club?

Moron of the Week: 7 Feb 21 – 13 Feb 21

I am so tired of these Ace Ebb landlords. These petless wonders around here think it is okay to discriminate against us pet parents. It is illegal to discriminate against parents of human children — who make bigger messes than my five year old tortoiseshell cat — and should be illegal to discriminate against us pet parents. My cat just sleeps on a blanket all day.

Our rental market is so bleak for us poor folks, men create listings looking to give a break on the rent in return for “fun.” Last I knew these quid pro quo arrangements were illegal. Considering the bad things landlords around here get away with — both public and private ones — I am not surprised.

Also, thank the owners of the complexes charging $1000.00 – 2000.00 USD for so-called “luxury apartments” in a depressed area, during the middle of a freaking pandemic.

For taking advantage of people, I award the Utica area slumlords and rent-sharks Moron of the Week. You deserve it.

Moron of the Week Coming Back!

Yes, I love to roast real life morons here on MoronicArts. Because WordPress forced its glitch machine, AKA their “block editor”, the code for the Moron of the Week page broke beyond repair.

Moving forward, I am going to award these buffoons their awards on the main page, creating a new category for their non-fiction nonsense.

Terrance And Phillip Air

No wonder Sybil Kibble cannot fly. Kankakee County fart-addicts Damien Hurlbutt, Bernadette Cacca, and Wally Green all fly the same airline, powered by flatulence. I hope it is well ventilated.