A La Knuckle Sandwiches

Gothic Diana Ross, leader of the Manteno-based cover group The Midnight Supremes, is getting tired of her next-door neighbor Bernadette Cacca peeling out of her driveway, blasting her accordion, and stinking up the air by burning poopies. Diana wants to have a word with Bernadette, who is polishing her wall-mounted Turd Machine, and walks over after she finishes making her poo-shooter shine.

“You have a very punchable face.” Gothic Diana Ross tells Bernadette.

“I have a beautiful face? Aww, thanks. I get that a lot.”

“A punchable face you dipstick. Come here, I’ll give you a knuckle sandwich.”

“Thanks! I love to eat!” a wide-eyed Bernadette exclaims with glee, mouth hanging open until she gets punched by Miss Ross. 

Silly Billy Sybil

Kankakee debt collector and big moron Sybil Kibble went up to Chicago this past Monday. She visited the LaSalle Street Buckstars where Damien Hurlbutt got kicked out a few months ago for going batty on the staff when they politely asked him to wear a mask.

Thankfully, Damien was not inside. However, the barista making Sybil’s drink misspelled her name.

Meet Peppi and Bernadette Cacca

A black-and-white horror cartoon of a stoic, middle-aged man, contrasted with a wide-mouthed middle aged woman screaming, both wearing crowns.

Based in Manteno, Illinois — Peppi and Bernadette Cacca own and operate Peppi’s Port-o-Potties. 
“King and Queen of the Throne”

Peppi’s hobbies are drinking, puking and smoking cheap weed, the skunkier the better.

Bernadette’s hobbies are singing loudly, playing accordion and hanging out in the swamp so she can lure unsuspecting men. Bernadette has recorded herself badly singing opera and showtunes to play for on-hold customers in the hope they will hang up.

Meet Lori Brown

This is a black-and-white cartoon of a heavy-set blonde woman sitting in an office.

Meet Lori Brown, estranged former wife of Bourbonnais neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt. A covert narcissist, Damien refers to Lori solely as “Grimace” while actively trying to get back with her so he can emotionally abuse her again. Lori works as a medical billing clerk in Chicago, loves root beer and burning poopies.

Read about Lori here:

https://moronicarts.com/2019/11/26/damien-exposed/

https://moronicarts.com/2020/07/24/damien-dumped/

https://moronicarts.com/2020/11/04/crass-ahoy/