A Dale and a Dream

April 5, 2021 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

A black-and-white cartoon of a middle aged man sitting in his kitchen, scratching lottery tickets.

CRASS debt collector Dale Davis finally got his economic stimulus check, so he made a big donation to the Illinois State Lottery.

Coming Soon to a Wally Green’s Near You!

April 4, 2021April 4, 2021 ~ Jen ~ 10 Comments

Black-and-white cartoon drawing of a drugstore,

Toe Stubberies
Do you like pain? These might look like rollers, but these metal cylinders are designed to give you extra toe-stubbage! Perfect for your bedframe or office chair.

Extra Ploppety Pills
Do you like it when things fall? Increase your plop factor using the power of entropy mixed into every pill you swallow! Now when you visit Wally Green’s Pharmacy Department, be sure to ask for our patented ingredient!

No More Cord Tangles
Pour on your electronics cords to get the tangles out! This liquid works best when your devices are plugged in.

What will Deerfield, Illinois born drugstore owner, barfly and wannabe ladies’ man Wally Green invent next?

Bernadette’s New Bop

March 29, 2021 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Manteno communal narcissist and poopy-burner Bernadette Cacca just discovered her new favorite tune. Maybe she will perform it live for charity on accordion.

Bernadette Cacca Found Her New Best Friend.

March 22, 2021April 14, 2021 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Communal narcissist and poopie-burner Bernadette Cacca wants to go find this chick and shoot poopies at Gothic Diana Ross out her turd machine together.

https://www.distractify.com/p/kaitlin-bennett-exposed-passed-out-drunk

#PoopingForKaitlin

Peppi’s Portopotties Drops Their New Rap Track.

March 16, 2021 ~ Jen ~ 10 Comments

An old man raps while his middle-aged wife plays accordion outside a building in Manteno, Illinois.

Manteno sociopath Peppi Cacca and his communal narcissist wife Bernadette wish to advertise their business Peppi’s Portopotties on television. Bernadette plays accordion while her husband raps about how they are king and queen of the throne. Look for their new track on AudioCumulus.

Bernadette Thinks She’s Running In Manteno.

March 13, 2021March 13, 2021 ~ Jen ~ 2 Comments

Gothic Diana Ross gives her neighbor the side-eye.

“You know, Bernadette: You cannot exactly drift a car with your suspension out of whack,” Gothic Diana Ross says to her next door neighbor Bernadette Cacca, as she peels out her Manteno driveway for the zillionth time and veers to the side of the road, releasing an awful stench since her oil is running on fumes.

“Are you burning rubber, or are you burning poopies?”

Romance Scammers Are Really Dumb.

March 7, 2021 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

This Moron slid into Kankakee debt collector and dog-food enthusiast Sybil Kibble’s inbox and would not let go. Silly scammer, get a hobby.

Screenshot of a conversation between Sybil Kibble and a scambot.

Oh Snap, My Dealer!

March 4, 2021 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Kankakee County karaoke king, poor Elvis impersonator and covert narcissist Robbie Hurlbutt was so happy to finally get some people at one of his many gigs. Robbie believes in quantity over quality, or staying “prolific”, as Robbie says. Too bad his speedball dealer showed up.