Coming soon to Brandon’s Imbecile Machines:
Imbecile Tractors!
Brandon Dixon wants to add a lawn and garden division to his Imbecile Machine shop in Kankakee. What do you think?
(photo from https://www.wideopencountry.com/30-tricked-tractors-defy-practicality/)
Leon Peeonne takes the wrong bus by mistake. When he realises he is on the wrong bus, he walks out the front door, kicks the side of bus and walks home to see his girlfriend Rachel, who is sawing a forest in her sleep.
Mr. Peeonne wakes up and decides it is time to buy a vehicle. Leon takes the right bus this time, and de-boards at Brandon’s Imbecile Machines in Kankakee, hoping to buy an overly lifted truck to lift his ego.
“What comes in a fully loaded truck?”
“I cover it myself in decals like containing misogynist sayings, one of the Insane Clown Posse dude, and a random letter P. Maybe some Faygo and Cheetos too. Proud Juggalo here.“
The two fools shake hands.
Leon meets Brandon at the financing office to discuss payment.
“Umm, do you accept barters?”
“It depends. What ya got?”
“A case of fat-free oil, a gross of dehydrated water, and 17 cubic zirconia rings.”
“Yeah…no. Do you have any money at all? Cash?”
“Umm, I got these NFTs. Newly Formed Turds.”
Leon pulls out some freshly mined Craptocoin he got from Bernadette Cacca in Manteno after his mother Leona – the Kankakee troll – egged him on to buy the rotten-egg scented craptocash.
Brandon just shakes his head. He does not want any more crap. He is already full of it.
After spending 30 days in Kankakee County Jail, Brandon Dixon was happy to be free again to sell imbecile machine at his used vehicle lot.
Brandon could not wait to drive his overly lifted truck, covered in decals displaying The Imitation Punisher, profane sayings in a gun-shaped-font, and a Confederate flag to his ”Welcome Party.”
Mr. Dixon would do anything to make sure his Compensationmobiles would go to his customers, however he missed all sales that day.
Thank you to Zotco for painting this awesome picture of Brandon Dixon, owner of Brandon’s Imbecile Machines in Kankakee. He will give you a break on a crotch rocket or an overly-lifted truck with obnoxious details to say thanks!
![[ARTTRADE] Brandon isn't wide awake](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/45992548-d182-4d39-bc50-e876fbbdc644/dekx5cx-c6a37f4a-4ac9-4f01-9994-50f50f286b48.jpg/v1/fit/w_300,h_900,q_70,strp/_arttrade__brandon_isn_t_wide_awake_by_zotco_dekx5cx-300w.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9MjAwMCIsInBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzQ1OTkyNTQ4LWQxODItNGQzOS1iYzUwLWU4NzZmYmJkYzY0NFwvZGVreDVjeC1jNmEzN2Y0YS00YWM5LTRmMDEtOTk5NC01MGY1MGYyODZiNDguanBnIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTEyMDAifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.kS2Lm2qHsiCwSTytqjkRkzuAKkbOo5sqm4szzuWn2ms)
Thank you Zotco!
Visit his incredibly detailed and creative gallery here:
Brandon Dixon, wannabe ladies’ man and owner of Brandon’s Imbecile Machines, parks his overly lifted and crudely decorated truck in a grocery store parking lot. Since the truck gives him such an ego-boost, and Brandon plain does whatever the heck he wants, he takes up two spaces.
Brandon continues to swipe right on his phone, hoping to introduce a single lady to his compensationmobile. Meanwhile, he hopes his massive truck attracts some attention from “the females” as Brandon calls them.
The sun goes down, and Brandon is still waiting for his first catch. A stern voice is heard from a person approaching him and his vehicle.
“Let’s go, Brandon!”
“Yeah, let’s go Brandon! Vote red all the way!” Brandon replies.
“No, I mean let’s go. Your truck is taking up two parking spaces and the store is closed. Leave or I will have to write you a ticket,” the lady cop expounds.
Needless to say, no matter how much size matters, Brandon’s huge truck impresses not a single soul.
MoronicArts 
You must be logged in to post a comment.