Moron of the Week: Useless Micromanager Admins

Are you spending less time than ever posting on the antisocial media that is Facebook?

So am I. Take this group, a chronic pain “support” group. A fellow spoonie asked what we do to distract our mind from pain. I replied with an article detailing my number one coping skill you know, to help others who also are in a crapton of pain.

As someone who despises pyramid schemes, snake oils and other woo (unlike the fictional Doris Krabalsky), I felt appalled at the moron(s) removing my number coping skill.

I dunno, maybe the micromanaging admins are secretly sadists.

Needless to say, I added that group to my ever-growing chopping block, downsizing my social media presence to reduce stress.

I have stories to write, pictures to draw, songs to sing and a cat to love.

Yes, that “support group” removed my cat video, along with the article describing my process for learning a new language well enough to write a song for my beloved kitty.

That’s okay, my cat did not like those admins either.

For solely pretending to care, I award this micromanaging “support-group” admin Moron of the Week. Writing helps me cope with pain, so I thank you for the story idea. You’re welcome for the award, you earned it.

Moron of the Week: Bored Youtube Troll

“When I grow up I wanna be a Youtube commenter.”
– Nobody

We have all seen them, the Internet trolls, the lost souls of the World Wide Web. These hobby-less wonders sit in their mother’s basements and type crap nobody cares about, hoping to upset someone or two.

Ennui clearly got to the best of this bored tool. A lone kid behind a keyboard and a monitor, with nothing better to do than leave moronic comments on independent musicians’ remixes, he probably thinks he is the only person who ever made a song before. Or maybe he just wants to bother strangers because he has no life. Maybe both?

How does he get his housework done? If he is that bored, he can come over and clean my cat’s litter-box, and then do my laundry, putting it all away after he folds it. I will not mind.

When translated, the troll’s drivel roughly says this:

The self-proclaimed musical genius could have just scrolled by and found a song he liked better, listening to that instead.

Sadly, used his idle hands to become the Moron of the Week. This is a clear example of how he wasted his time.

Enjoy your award, dude. You earned it.

Moron of the Week: I Scream For Melted Ice Cream

This weeks Moron of the Week awardee had asked for a refund on ice cream, complaining it had arrived cold. Whatever floats your boat.

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/takeaway-forced-refund-customer-who-22415114

Maybe the would-be-customer is one of The Soggies. I had always wondered what they did after they lost the Cap’n Crunch gig.

Did it ever occur to the customer to buy a box of ice cream and melt it themself?

For demanding a ridiculous refund, I award this Karen or Darren Moron of the Week. Maybe they will make an appearance in the new King Kong film, Karen Kong.

Moron of the Week – Karaoke Creeper

It’s not that hard.

I make many things: drawings, stories, songs. The way to my heart is through a love of my talents. If you don’t like my stuff, cool. Move on and scroll past. I am too busy, you know, creating things.

Meet Robert Arwyn Jones, A/K/A “Jones” on Youtube. He started commenting on my music. I liked what I heard and commented back. A mutual exchange, right? No, not in his mind; he was thinking with his other head.

That moron mistook my kindness for lust when we took our conversation to email.

When I told him I bond with people who like me for my talents, the karaoke king took the low road by gaslighting.

But wait — there’s more! My lack of mutual lust had gotten this moron so butt-hurt, he made the choice to hurl insults. Ahhh, the average schoolyard bully.

What a prize! For pretending to care about me as a creator just to try and lure me into bed, I award Robert Arwyn Jones Moron of the Week. Enjoy your award Robert, you’re a real winner.

Moron of the Week – Fool on the Hill

Oh man, the douchenozzle I encountered on yet another medical trip surely wanted to have his way! He rode all the way on his high horse from Toledo to the seats occupied by a nice lady who boarded a few stops earlier in Indiana, and tired me who got on at Chicago.

Like Charlie with his golden ticket, this bunghole headed to Buffalo huffed and puffed because someone else was sitting in seat number 10. No, he did not move to another vacant seat, because that made too much sense. Instead, he made demands that the nice social worker next to me get up from HIS seat.

After the nice lady moved out of sight and mind from this moron, that ennui-consumed piece of work sat down next to me and made demands I plug in his charger. No please, no thank-you, he did not even ask.

I told the bumbling tool he did not have to sit there. After all, if he moved to another seat it would be the exact same thing, just somewhere else on the train. He would even get to his destination. Nope — the dope started calling me names like a schoolyard bully.

But wait — there’s more! The beligerant gentleman made sure to mansplain to me that there is one outlet per passenger. Naaaaw.

I took the high road and found another seat, the fool chose to die on that hill. Good for him — I bet he wants a prize.

Here you go, Fool on the Hill: I award you Moron of the Week! Now go sit down and do your homework. If you are good, you won’t get detention.


Medical trips really suck. Jen wants to travel for fun. Buy her a ko-fi (or just say “hi.”)

The Beatles Rock!

Moron of the Week – Dubious Bill Collectors

What a CRASS idea!

Some Moran (yes that is their name) thought it might be a good idea to make it legal for bill collectors like the fictional Sybil Kibble text your phones to beg for money. Even if the debt is not really owed; since medical bills are notoriously incorrectly billed, these morons think they can spam your phone.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/debt-collectors-unlimited-text-email-messages-consumer-financial-protection-bureau/

Oh and people have been thrown in jail over medical debt.

Nobody should do time because they have medical debt.

Here is a better idea for all you who hire those CRASS, LLC wannabes: How about asking the customer if they have additional insurance? Or and here is another no-brainer: how about billing primary and secondary insurances in the order the patient specified? Don’t know which goes first? I dunno, maybe try asking the patient. They just might tell you. Duh.

For choosing greed over empathy, I award these bill collectors and those who hire them Moron of the Week.

Moron of the Week – Bored Wannabe Playboy

It’s not really hard to impress me. Ask me questions about what music I like, and my favorite hobbies. Ask about MoronicArts, I don’t care.

Sadly, about 95 per cent of interested suitors get this part wrong. How had is to to…you know…try?

Take this rando who slid into my inbox:

For acting like most of the other guys, and then probably complaining to your male friends why you cannot get a partner, I award this dime-a-dozen douche and all others like him Moron of the Week. Try and compensate for your deflated ego. You just got an award, dude!

Moron of the Week – Obsessed Fanboy

This sad playboy — I am putting it nicely — got all butthurt when I messaged him looking for friendship. Yes, friends, as in getting to know each other better. When he replied to my intro question showing interest in his hobbies, all he said was he liked those things. I replied asking him what he would like to know about me and what was his response? Wait for it.

He said yes, go ahead. Confused by his comment, I replied with a simple question mark.

Since he was five hours ahead of me, I did not expect a reply, or even to see him online at that point. It was 8:50 PM my time, 1:50 AM his time.

This luser got all butthurt, saying I was interested in him and got rather cross because I asked him to tell me more about himself. You know, what humans do to get acquainted. Figuring he had something to hide, I blocked him. I wanted no more contact.

Today, ennui got the best of his soul, so he sent me this message right here on MoronicArts to try and mansplain dating, music, or whatever it was he thought I was trying to achieve when I wrote him, because my blog is chock-full o’ pretend and real-life morons like him.

Hmmm. Maybe he sees a little bit of Peppi Cacca and Pat Splatt in himself. Or maybe Damien Hurlbutt since Gareth’s Twitter handle “tungstenfedora” screams neckbeard. Why not get yourself an anime waifu like the other neckbeards, Gareth? Maybe he should get a hobby, I have things to do and am very busy.

Meanwhile, Gareth, enjoy your participation trophy, I mean Moron of the Week Award. Hold onto it really tightly, because I need it for the next moron.

This post brought to you by the letters #MotW.

Watch Carly Simon poke fun at neckbeards in her updated video to “You’re So Vain.”

Moron of the Week: Another One Rides The Bus

This Karen, aptly named Karen per the passenger next to her, would not stop staring at me and my legs. Since she sat still long enough in her state of ennui, I drew her, tuning out Karen with my music.

Only then, did this Kareny Karen start to make demands. After I got a lot of the sketch done, I took off my headset, and heard Karen insist I stop drawing her. I advised Karen I would stop drawing if she stopped staring. Square deal, right?

But no! Karen made the conscious choice to gaslight me, insisting she was not staring and using the sense of entitlement at the level of your typical neighborhood Karen. She demanded I move my leg because “I was getting medicine all over the seat.” Yes, that invisible medicine you need special Karen powers to see, I had it all over my legs, my eyes, even inside my esophagus. Mmm-hmm.

Karen insisted she was right, after all, she said she 12 years experience in the medical field! I asked where she worked, Dr. Google?

Of course Karen refused to tell me and instead kept making demands, even complaining to the bus driver since the manager was not on board. The bus driver kept on driving, meanwhile Karen kept on Karening.

I award Karen Moron of the Week. No Triforce for you.

Moron of the Week 18 Apr 21 – 24 Apr 20

Who likes being sent into the on-hold abyss? Anyone? I will wait.

This week, we salute a very special moron. You might have encountered him as he emerged from the bowels of the interwebs and crawled onto your screen.

This week’s dorkmeister is the Spinning Cheerio of Death. Sometimes he takes the form of a Wonka Wheel.

Other times he transfigures into a watch.

In Mario Paint the moron is this paintbrush dancing like a fool.

Heck, I even got one while writing this article. Thanks WordPress!

For wasting an infinite amount of users’ time, I award these spinning pellets of death Moron of the Week.