“Where is the jungle gym?” Chanel Teirant asks the busy Bourbonnais café staff, while her sister * dances and brother Bratley joins her pirouette. Mother and Dumpster Clown Madeline Topolla-Teirant Cheers them on.
“Ma’am, this is a Buckstars.”
Manteno miner of Craptocoin, pretend do-gooder and entramanure Bernadette Moran Cacca, has competition up in Chicago for biggest bail-bond buffoonery.
Kankakee bill collector and dog-food connoisseur Sybil Kibble gets lost in a book, taking her mind off the day-to-day horrors working at CRASS.
Kankakee County narcadoodles Damien Hurlbutt-Head and Robbie “Beavis” Hurlbutt eat cheese-puffs and drink beer on the couch while watching music videos on television, wishing they could “score.”
“This sucks, change it!” — Damien Hurlbutt-Head
Hell’s in-processing clerk Lucy Furr, notorious for bullying an autistic girl on the class trip to Italy, rips a fart while waiting for the newly damned to arrive.
Jen
Proud Asexual & Chief Character Wrangler
MoronicArts.com
Leon Peeonne takes the wrong bus by mistake. When he realises he is on the wrong bus, he walks out the front door, kicks the side of bus and walks home to see his girlfriend Rachel, who is sawing a forest in her sleep.
Mr. Peeonne wakes up and decides it is time to buy a vehicle. Leon takes the right bus this time, and de-boards at Brandon’s Imbecile Machines in Kankakee, hoping to buy an overly lifted truck to lift his ego.
“What comes in a fully loaded truck?”
“I cover it myself in decals like containing misogynist sayings, one of the Insane Clown Posse dude, and a random letter P. Maybe some Faygo and Cheetos too. Proud Juggalo here.“
The two fools shake hands.
Leon meets Brandon at the financing office to discuss payment.
“Umm, do you accept barters?”
“It depends. What ya got?”
“A case of fat-free oil, a gross of dehydrated water, and 17 cubic zirconia rings.”
“Yeah…no. Do you have any money at all? Cash?”
“Umm, I got these NFTs. Newly Formed Turds.”
Leon pulls out some freshly mined Craptocoin he got from Bernadette Cacca in Manteno after his mother Leona – the Kankakee troll – egged him on to buy the rotten-egg scented craptocash.
Brandon just shakes his head. He does not want any more crap. He is already full of it.
Much to the dismay of their narcissistic neighbors – entramanures and poopyburners Peppi and Bernadette Cacca – the beautiful dark ladies Gothic Diana Ross & The Midnight Supremes debut their new tune, “Upside Down.” This Manteno, Illinois cover group is happy to drown out the brown notes emanating from Bern’s kazoo, mouth and accordion.
Happy June from The Moroniverse! The Midwest lunch bunch carries the weight of the world’s largest carrot on their shoulders. We would like to thank the Universe for all the story-fodder, all that moronic inspiration, and Sybil’s mom JoAnn Kibble.
After a long, hot day interrupting people’s lunches and dinners asking for money they probably do not owe, Kankakee bill collector Sybil Kibble rage-mows the heck outta her lawn.
Help Sybil save up for a new lawnmower and some more dog bones to eat: https://ko-fi.com/artbyjenx
MoronicArts 
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