Manteno miner of Craptocoin, pretend do-gooder and entramanure Bernadette Moran Cacca, has competition up in Chicago for biggest bail-bond buffoonery.
Tag: one minute read
Sybil Kibble Gets Lost
Kankakee bill collector and dog-food connoisseur Sybil Kibble gets lost in a book, taking her mind off the day-to-day horrors working at CRASS.
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Hurlbuttheads (A MoronicArts Classic)
Kankakee County narcadoodles Damien Hurlbutt-Head and Robbie “Beavis” Hurlbutt eat cheese-puffs and drink beer on the couch while watching music videos on television, wishing they could “score.”
“This sucks, change it!” — Damien Hurlbutt-Head
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Spontaneous Moronic Combustion
Hell’s in-processing clerk Lucy Furr, notorious for bullying an autistic girl on the class trip to Italy, rips a fart while waiting for the newly damned to arrive.
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Sybil Kibble is Proud
Happy Pride Month from MoronicArts!
Jen
Proud Asexual & Chief Character Wrangler
MoronicArts.com
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What The Truck?
Leon Peeonne takes the wrong bus by mistake. When he realises he is on the wrong bus, he walks out the front door, kicks the side of bus and walks home to see his girlfriend Rachel, who is sawing a forest in her sleep.
Mr. Peeonne wakes up and decides it is time to buy a vehicle. Leon takes the right bus this time, and de-boards at Brandon’s Imbecile Machines in Kankakee, hoping to buy an overly lifted truck to lift his ego.
“What comes in a fully loaded truck?”
“I cover it myself in decals like containing misogynist sayings, one of the Insane Clown Posse dude, and a random letter P. Maybe some Faygo and Cheetos too. Proud Juggalo here.“
The two fools shake hands.
Leon meets Brandon at the financing office to discuss payment.
“Umm, do you accept barters?”
“It depends. What ya got?”
“A case of fat-free oil, a gross of dehydrated water, and 17 cubic zirconia rings.”
“Yeah…no. Do you have any money at all? Cash?”
“Umm, I got these NFTs. Newly Formed Turds.”
Leon pulls out some freshly mined Craptocoin he got from Bernadette Cacca in Manteno after his mother Leona – the Kankakee troll – egged him on to buy the rotten-egg scented craptocash.
Brandon just shakes his head. He does not want any more crap. He is already full of it.
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Upside Down You Turn Me
Much to the dismay of their narcissistic neighbors – entramanures and poopyburners Peppi and Bernadette Cacca – the beautiful dark ladies Gothic Diana Ross & The Midnight Supremes debut their new tune, “Upside Down.” This Manteno, Illinois cover group is happy to drown out the brown notes emanating from Bern’s kazoo, mouth and accordion.
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MoronicArts Is Out To Lunch!
Happy June from The Moroniverse! The Midwest lunch bunch carries the weight of the world’s largest carrot on their shoulders. We would like to thank the Universe for all the story-fodder, all that moronic inspiration, and Sybil’s mom JoAnn Kibble.
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Sybil Kibble Rage Mows
After a long, hot day interrupting people’s lunches and dinners asking for money they probably do not owe, Kankakee bill collector Sybil Kibble rage-mows the heck outta her lawn.
Help Sybil save up for a new lawnmower and some more dog bones to eat: https://ko-fi.com/artbyjenx
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Àpe-Propos
Sociopath, slumlord and dumpster-clown Madeline Topolla-Teirant wants to change the name of her business Kankakee’s Low-Budget Apartments to hopefully clean up her image and create the impression that she puts people first (even though she clearly does not). Tenants are leaving her sick building in droves and she is losing those almighty Benjamins.
She asks her son Bratley to draw this new logo so she can get out of paying a graphic designer to do it, because she thinks that proposal is bananas.
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