Kankakee resident, expert crusher of candy and prolific collector of school-bus-parts JoAnn Kibble, joined Snow White along with the remaining five dwarves, talking to some squirrels.
This one took notice.
“This friendly #squirrel gives an about-face three times. I hope to meet up with him again soon! 12/10 will feed again.” JoAnn said with a smile. Then she went back inside her apartment to sort her stop signs, seat belts and kill-switches by make and model.
How many trips to prison does it take to get into this moron’s thick skull? The world may never know.
This clown has been in and out of the criminal justice system so many times, he may as well move in. Get this career crook his well-earned three hots and a cot!
For smirking his way through life, we hereby award Maurice Kearse 50 Golden Moron Awards! That’s right, one for every time he has gone in and out of that barbed wire fence.
Picture a world, a wild Karen in a land far from her own. If she threw a tantrum in another language, would anyone understand? Would they care? That poor entitled Karen, so ignorant, she forgot to learn the language of the land. Instead of using the Internet to learn a new language, she used it instead to leave this complaint. Cook your own fish, Karen!
Because she acted like your common, ordinary, sad xenophobe – who clearly had a failure to communicate – we are proud to present Karen with this Golden Moron Award! One can only imagine how boring her life must be, but we’re too busy to care.
Like the lady from the insurance commercial, Kankakee basement dweller JoAnn “JK” Kibble loves crushing her candy game, when she’s not watching 500 Left Turns or chasing squirrels.
“Ooooh, you’re cute” says 22 year young Judy Avelli, as she encounters Marty the Mailer-Daemon at a Chicagoland mall. Meanwhile, her 60-something husband, Credit Recovery Associates (CRASS) cheese-in-chief Mack E. Avelli is outside photographing roadkill. Judy captures Marty on film, while the mailer-daemon captures her heart.
Wally Green proudly Introduces his new CrapApp GrammarLOON! Now you can pay money to make your computer interrupt you writing that important document for your boss, only to get whole sentences replaced with absolute gibberish! Impress your teacher by getting Ds instead of As or Bs on your homework because GrammarLOON screwed it up!
As seen in a recursive advertising loop on PooTube, the makers of AutoIncorrect want to take your typing frustrations to the next level! We are absolutely ducking sure you can buy one, get one half off (but never free) at your local Wally Green’s!
Cross your fingers to safely pull into our Kankakee County corner lot, get a decent spot, then pick up a Word Salad Adapter for your Turd Machine while you’re there waiting two hours for your meds (which we told you on the phone would be ready in twenty minutes). If you happen to see the owner and wacky inventor Wally Green himself, ladies you sure are in luck! He is single, will date any woman who stands on two legs and won’t take no for an answer!
“All that birdie-birdie-birdie, chirp chirp cheer those cardinals sing in their mating calls, it is so repetitive,” drugstore clerk, vulnerable narc-a-doodle and Elvis impersonator Robert Roy Gary Hurlbutt complains in his mother PJ’s Kankakee backyard.
“Umm, Robbie, I feel pretty confident Red is not looking to mate with you,” Sybil Kibble explains to the son of her neighbor and best friend PJ Hurlbutt with a smile as she plays the Angry Birds game on her phone.
MoronicArts has received news that someone in the Midwest named a kitty after the fictional Manteno moron Bernadette Moran Cacca. From left to right: Not-Bernadette, Bernadette, Another Non-Bernadette cat.
That poor cat! When asked if she poops a lot, we were told “Of course! She is a bottle baby.”
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