Kankakee debt collector and big moron Sybil Kibble went up to Chicago this past Monday. She visited the LaSalle Street Buckstars where Damien Hurlbutt got kicked out a few months ago for going batty on the staff when they politely asked him to wear a mask.
Thankfully, Damien was not inside. However, the barista making Sybil’s drink misspelled her name.
For Bourbonnais cinema clerk, communal narcadoodle, and neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt, invalidation of others’ feelings has always been one heck of a drug.
”Hey Damien? Why does Buckstars wrap all their plastic utensils in even more plastic?”
”Well actually, Lori…I was watching the Angery Game Nerd Show on PooTube and the host gets mad there is not enough packaging. After all, plastics makers need to make money too…“ Damien the self-proclaimed “nice guy” said to his ex wife at their former home in Champaign. Lori Brown – whom Damien calls “Grimace” – has been happily divorced from the Bourbonnais cinema clerk who sent her doctors lunacy letters, thinking he knew more about psychology than…um…an actual psychologist?
Have you known someone like Damien? I hope not. Lori would not wish his abuse on her worst enemy.
You’ve met Bernadette the Kitten, now meet Sybil the Cat!
https://www.adoptapet.com/pet/40309506-monterey-virginia-cat
Unlike the poor kitty named after the Manteno Wonder and entramanure Bernadette Moran Cacca, we here at MoronicArts do not know this kitty.
Sybil Kibble thinks it would be a treat if this adoptable cat got a loving fur-ever home.
Shapeshifting humanoid vulture and Midwestern slumlord Sonya Moran was busy minding her own business, taking a break from chowing down on a carrion score found on the streets of Manteno, Illinois. Her bored sister Carla thought it would be cute to bother her sister for no reason whatsoever, other than to get a rise out of her. Ennui filled the creature with rage. After all, she only looks good on the outside.
“”When is the last time you cut your hair? It looks awful!” the self-righteous narcadoodle Carla berated her histrionic sister Sonya.
“I’ll clip YOUR wings!” Sonya lunged back, massive shears in tow.
“Oh no, not the blood feathers!”
Kankakee squirrel watcher, candy-crusher and school-bus-parts collector JoAnn Kibble was hand-picked by her daughter Sybil to judge the annual Squirrelympics!
Brought to this community every year, the event is sponsored by Sybil Kibble’s employer: bill-collection-factory Credit Recovery Associates (CRASS), because they are here for you, and only for you!
“We don’t just take your money, we give it back, too!”
— Mack E. Avelli, Chief Crook and and Money Launderer, CRASS
How best to get out the vote, than to contaminate your rivals’ food? Like a frat-girl prank, a group of girls are reported as having resorted to tainting the food of another.
What a great way to advance your cause, ladies? For emptying the contents of their brains into strangers just minding their own business eating, they have been specially selected to receive this collective Golden Moron Award! Now bring it home ladies, show it off to your friends!
It was a
Dopey,
Sleepy
day.
Kankakee resident, expert crusher of candy and prolific collector of school-bus-parts JoAnn Kibble, joined Snow White along with the remaining five dwarves, talking to some squirrels.
This one took notice.
“This friendly #squirrel gives an about-face three times. I hope to meet up with him again soon! 12/10 will feed again.” JoAnn said with a smile. Then she went back inside her apartment to sort her stop signs, seat belts and kill-switches by make and model.
How many trips to prison does it take to get into this moron’s thick skull? The world may never know.
This clown has been in and out of the criminal justice system so many times, he may as well move in. Get this career crook his well-earned three hots and a cot!
For smirking his way through life, we hereby award Maurice Kearse 50 Golden Moron Awards! That’s right, one for every time he has gone in and out of that barbed wire fence.
Time to reel him in for good!
C’mon Deckard, I ain’t waitin’ around for ya all night. This is LA after all.
BZZZZZZ!
Time to die! Nothing like having an ITCH you can never SCRATCH!
What? Mother’s Day Card? Youtube, lemme tell you about my mother…
If you’re not Lizzie Borden, you’re not a life-hack, just an imposter.
MoronicArts 
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