Kankakee bill collector Sybil Kibble and her silly ma JoAnn love to go squirrel watching. Sybil made sure to bring some dog bones to munch on during her excursion.
“Squirrels are nature’s comedians.”
— Sybil Kibble
Tag: one minute reads
A $23,000 Pot To Poop In
Manteno communal narcadoodle, bog witch and entremanure Bern Cacca wants to poop on this 23K pot.
Butt, Does She Also Own a Golden Toilet Seat?
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Fan Art – Bern Cacca and Sybil Kibble by AleaNer
Big thanks to the very talented and underrated artist AleaNer for drawing Kankakee County denizens Bern Cacca and Sybil Kibble!
Please visit the gallery of this incredibly talented artist and leave them a follow, and a comment! Commission slots open, too!
https://ko-fi.com/aleaner/gallery
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Hobbies Are Important
“Excuse me Miss. I have something important to tell you.”
The 4’6″ Kankakee pyramid-schemer Doris Krabalsky stares down 5’11”, athletic Gothic Diana Ross who is minding her own business, drinking iced coffee at a table across the café.
“Yeah…no”
“There’s a cure for that,” Doris verbally spams Diana as she rubs her arms to suggest something was “wrong” with the medium-skinned singer’s limbs.
“These are tattoos, you idiot.”
The angered leader of the Midnight Supremes pauses and then delivers some important information to Doris.
“There is a cure for nosiness. It is called getting a hobby.”
The scared fool Doris leaves the café in silence, just in time to avoid getting a knuckle-sandwich delivered straight to her pie-hole, courtesy of Diana.
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Damien’s Super Soft Birthday Message
As much as Bourbonnais communal narcissist and fedora-sporting neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt wanted to attend his big birthday bash, he could not make it because he got stuck on the toilet.
Instead, we bring you these important words from Squirrely Dan.
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Wally Green Bores His Date
Happy Hour is anything but happy for the date sitting with Kankakee barfly, wacky inventor and wannabe-ladies-man, Wally Green. Wally tells the pretty lady boring tall tales about his family almost getting the deed to Manhattan until pirates stole it, the time one of the Men In Black pulled up to his car at an Illinois fast-food store, and how he almost made the cut for American Inventor.
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Thanos Needs to Take a Number One
Poor Thanos. He has been waiting to use the coffeehouse washroom, growing ever angry by the minute since his latte made him have to go. Meanwhile Robbie Hurlbutt takes up space and time scrolling through Tindling looking for a date.
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Upside Down You Turn Me
Local yokel and poor Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt has a huge crush on Gothic Diana Ross, lead singer from the Manteno band The Midnight Supremes.
Robbie stalks Diana on Fakebook and Utube, telling her she is the best diva on earth and she can be the boss of him anytime.
Do you think Diana is impressed?
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What Did Damien Do, Fall In?
Lori Brown, the former wife of communal narcissist Damien Hurlbutt, regrets her decision to get back with her ex. She has been waiting over an hour for him to finish showering so she can use the washroom. At least he closed the door this time.
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Lucy Furr Visits Hell’s Coffeehouse
During her 99-hour shift, Hell’s in-processing clerk Lucy Furr heads down to the 9th Circle to grab some joe so she can stay awake. “I would like an extra large latte with Irish Cream” Lucy tells the barista.
“We do not have Irish Cream” the barista advises Lucy.
“Okay, I’ll get an iced red-eye with extra shots.”
“Don’t you know where we are? We don’t served iced coffees.”
“Oh. Can I just get a cup of whatever you have? And make it fast. I need to go back to work.”
“We don’t serve coffee in Hell.”
“Then, what do you serve?” an angered Lucy asks the ogre working the counter.
“Misery. Satan put up this pretend coffeehouse to fake out the damned.”
MoronicArts 
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