“All that birdie-birdie-birdie, chirp chirp cheer those cardinals sing in their mating calls, it is so repetitive,” drugstore clerk, vulnerable narc-a-doodle and Elvis impersonator Robert Roy Gary Hurlbutt complains in his mother PJ’s Kankakee backyard.
“Umm, Robbie, I feel pretty confident Red is not looking to mate with you,” Sybil Kibble explains to the son of her neighbor and best friend PJ Hurlbutt with a smile as she plays the Angry Birds game on her phone.
JoAnn Kibble loves watching the squirrels chase each other in her Kankakee backyard, while looking out the window from the basement apartment she rents from her daughter, CRASS Lead Bill Collector and dog food aficionado Sybil.
Much to the backyard birds’ dismay, she fills the feeders full of nuts.
Kankakee basic babe, bill-collector and dog food enthusiast Sybil Kibble got so excited to acquire the new contract with ExPeedia, she bought herself some treats to celebrate. Unfortunately for her, she got the fool’s bones by mistake.
The Hurlbutts get together for their annual Christmas shenanigans. After opening $1000 worth of useless crap from Damien, Kankakee store clerk, covert narcissist and Elvis impersonator Robbie opens the sole gift from his mother. PJ could not wait to give this to Robbie.
Robbie opens his present. “Maaaa, you got this for free from Sybil.”
“It’s an autographed Elvis picture! I got it for you because I know how much you love Elvis.”
“You paid nothing for it. I spent $100 on that Blu-Ray player and the bootleg copy of Dune.”
“Money can’t buy you love, Robbie,” a disappointed PJ advises her spoiled brat son, who is throwing a tantrum like a three-year-old.
“I’ll take it. I can sell it on eBay!” the elder Hurlbutt son Damien tells his little brother Robbie.
The Hurlbutt brothers argue back and forth — after all, that is what narcissists love to do. PJ tries to break up the fight. Meanwhile, smoke is coming from the kitchen.
PJ runs into the kitchen.
“What is that?” Damien inquires.
“The Yule Log,” PJ sarcastically replies.
PJ takes the meat out of the oven just in time to stop a fire, and sends her dorky kids home so she can have a peaceful rest.
Before PJ has a chance to lie down, her best friend Sybil Kibble rings the doorbell.
Ahhh, holiday cheer.
Merry Christmas from MoronicArts!
Kankakee bill collector Sybil Kibble had her turkey-flavored dog treats. She offered her mother JoAnn some, who declined. Sybil gladly ate her mother’s portion. Yum!
Dearest PooTube:
We see how very hard you choo-choo-choose to railroad Sybil into giving out her personal information so you can do lawd-knows-what with them. Maybe you sell them to data brokers so that any moron stalker, ex-con or fugitive can buy them. Maybe you line the birdcage with them? Nice try, you are not getting it.
For this, we award you the Golden Moron Award.
Kankakee bill collector Sybil Katrina Kibble got mad at her Chrysler LeBaron because it stopped talking to her, and headed out on the bus to grab a treat. Seated ahead of her was Undead Greg Schneissder. “Do you know you’re a zombie?” Sybil asked Mr. Schneissder. Thankfully she kept her brain, because Greg eats poopies to stay alive, he likes the taste better.
Sybil’s ma JoAnn treated her to a Puppacino and she saved the bone for last.
No — not MoronicCarts, nor MoronicARTS. What cars do these fictional idiots drive — some better than others? Learn more in these videos.
Sybil Kibble loves her Chrysler LeBaron. It’s the only person the Kankakee bill collector and Alpo connoisseur likes talking to.
Gothic Diana Ross and the Midnight Supremes love driving their 1988 Chrysler Conquest TSi. Though it does not talk — unlike Sybil’s Chrysler — it’s a lot of fun to drive. And back in 1991, Greg Snyder saw someone going down the road who owned one.
Manteno entramanure, communal narcadoodle and bad driver Bernadette Cacca could be driving any of these cars. She just does not give a crap, because she thinks she’s above the law and it does not apply to her.
Brandon Allen Dixon owns an imbecile machine lot. Like the dealer says as he works the lot, “I own one of these babies myself. Let’s go!”
Kankakee Elvis impersonator, wannabe ladies’ man and vulnerable narcadoodle Robbie Hurlbutt drives one of these exact same clown cars, but in purple:
Listen to Dale leave a message for a debtor based after Sybil Kibble barfed up this silly idea:
MoronicArts 
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