At last, we finally know who makes those car warranty calls.

Kankakee’s Used Imbecile Machine dealer Brandon Dixon thought Out of Warranty Experience called him. Nope — Tyrell Corporation started selling extended auto warranties after Deckard retired the Nexus-6 Replicants in November 2019.

Reaction time is important, so please pay attention.

MoronicArts Bores a Scammer with Gothic Diana Ross, Portapotties and Siberia

“Mary” from Delhi, India called from a spoofed New York number to ask nosey medical questions.

MoronicArts wasted this scammer’s time boring her about Gothic Diana Ross, Peppi’s Portopotties and Norilsk, Russia so she cannot use that time to try and rip off other people.

Get a real job, “Mary.”

Sybil Kibble’s Encounter With An Ancient Alien

As Sybil Kibble was bagging her groceries at the local Schmucks grocery store, she had a close encounter of the Elevator Man kind. He asked about her melons, Sybil just laughed and left. Elevator Man flew away in his spaceship to make out-of-this-world calls from Mars.

(Video warning: language.)